6/18/12

Pagan Blog Project: L - Loki

At one point, I didn't dare mention Loki by name. I was fearful of him bringing utter chaos into my life. Having experienced a great deal of unpleasantness, I was more then a little gun shy about directly invoking him or mentioning him. Even when I did so by a round about way via epithets, Loki still made a significant bit of noise to make his presence felt.

I guess it was about a year and a half a go, I realized that my anxiety over getting Loki's attention was doing me more harm then good. It was a measure of 'I surrender' and a measure of 'just do what you're going to do, already!' behind my decision to mention Loki directly. Since then, I think it's happened at least once a day. Amusingly enough, life has calmed down a fair amount.

A part of me says that the random outbreaks of weirdness on the heels of mentioning Loki's name in the past was quite possibly a case of him trying to get my attention. At one point in the past, I figured that people who had an active relationship with their deity was something that happened on a special case basis. I didn't feel isolated or rejected by my gods. But I didn't have that daily chat with them kind of relationship either. To be honest, it was the daily chat relationship that I was looking for. (Oh, for a cheap laugh, I had made the typo of  'loki-ing'.)

I now have it. And it is with the deity that I had least expected it to happen with. Loki regularly makes snarky comments about life, people, and the gods. He offers me encouragement and advice when I am struggling. He exhorts me to do things that are healthful and good for me. It's like having a friend at my side. It feels a little strange to say that I am friends with a god, but if the Christians can do it, then so can I.

Loki, thank you for being here for me, even when I didn't realize that was the case.

No comments: