So, I'm going to try this experiment where I hold a conversation with the Egregore I created. I'm not sure how this will go. Text in a different color denotes the construct's part of the conversation. I don't know if it is sufficiently potent enough to hold some independence or not. This will be interesting.
Q: What is your purpose?
A. To assist in processing traumatic memories.
Q: Is your construction part of the reason why I have been having difficulty sleeping and more frequent emotional flashbacks?
A. This is my primary purpose, to bring material to the surface, sort, and categorize it for assessment.
Q: What is the process that is required to alleviate the trauma memories?
A. Identify the trauma, integrate the memories, and release the pain.
Q. Is there a hierarchy of trauma memories that must be processed?
A. Chronological assessment is the current mode of operation.
Q. How do you sort the trauma memories?
A. The most pervasive are first addressed.
Q: What is the integration process?
A. Repeat exposure of the memory until the dissociation response is extinct.
Q: Why do you have a menacing aura?
A. I am a repository of trauma from an early age.
Q: What information do you have for me at this time?
A. You are not your mother. You are worthy. Your problems sleeping are because you are reliving past events or projecting your fears onto future events.
Q: How might I make the integration process less arduous?
A. Write exhaustively about the experiences and your responses to them. Detail what your triggers are and how to handle them.
2/16/20
Egregore update.
Dear Reader,
I've been haphazard in feeding energy into the doll over the last several months. Been sick and busy with household stuff, like a lot of stuff for the family. The other day, I took the doll out of the bag and did some meditation on feeding energy into it. That was when it took on something of a generally creepy energy. Given that this doll is for shadow work, the creepy energy is appropriate. Even so, it was sufficiently uncomfortable that I put the doll back into the bag and set it aside.
Apparently, my passive feeding the doll by just focusing thought upon it when I saw the bag (which was sitting on the desk by my computer) was an effective thing. The goal of this poppet is to draw out the shadow aspects of myself so that I can work with them. I won't say that the poppet is disturbing. It's a cheapy Belle doll from Walmart that's at best three inches high. But it's starting to take on a quality that I've heard people describe dolls having - some sense of intelligence to it and an alien quality. I didn't exactly expect that to happen.
We're in the last quarter of the February moon. So, this is the time to be working with the poppet. I don't know how to go about that, now that it's picked up something of a spark. I do know, however, that the All-Father wouldn't have suggested this if it wasn't going to be helpful towards my goals. I'm probably going to sit down and have a 'chat' with it during this waning phase. I'll record that here.
I've been haphazard in feeding energy into the doll over the last several months. Been sick and busy with household stuff, like a lot of stuff for the family. The other day, I took the doll out of the bag and did some meditation on feeding energy into it. That was when it took on something of a generally creepy energy. Given that this doll is for shadow work, the creepy energy is appropriate. Even so, it was sufficiently uncomfortable that I put the doll back into the bag and set it aside.
Apparently, my passive feeding the doll by just focusing thought upon it when I saw the bag (which was sitting on the desk by my computer) was an effective thing. The goal of this poppet is to draw out the shadow aspects of myself so that I can work with them. I won't say that the poppet is disturbing. It's a cheapy Belle doll from Walmart that's at best three inches high. But it's starting to take on a quality that I've heard people describe dolls having - some sense of intelligence to it and an alien quality. I didn't exactly expect that to happen.
We're in the last quarter of the February moon. So, this is the time to be working with the poppet. I don't know how to go about that, now that it's picked up something of a spark. I do know, however, that the All-Father wouldn't have suggested this if it wasn't going to be helpful towards my goals. I'm probably going to sit down and have a 'chat' with it during this waning phase. I'll record that here.
2/4/20
Random stuff.
I'm not sure what the moon's age is, but it is a waxing crescent moon. My children have been happily saying hello to Máni when they see the moon in the evening. Máni is my youngest's favorite deity to talk to. They also like to talk to Sunna in the morning. Or when they see the sun come out after a cloudy day. They just like to talk to the gods and tell them about their day or whatever is on their mind. They'll also ask them to help with things like good luck and inspiration. And when there's strong winds they'll ask Aeolus or any other storm deity they can think of to calm the winds. High winds make them nervous, so it is reasonable that they ask the gods to ease them.
I haven't introduced them to Déa yet. I'm waiting for Eastre/Ostara to do that.
My kids have been asking questions about how worlds are made. I've been answering with scientific facts, as best I know them. Then comes the question of "But why does it work like that?" and "Where do the parts come from?" I've replied with "No one knows for sure. But the gods help make it happen." My youngest child, who is a huge Transformers fan has decided to ask the gods to make Cybertron real. He sat down and drew up blueprints for Cybertron and did his best to describe what it needed. Then he put that on the altar. I think it may be time to explain the concept of a multi-verse to him, this way he can stop obsessing quite so much with the concept of visiting Cybertron. If he knows that somewhere out there is another universe where Cybertron is real and another version of himself has visited it and is friends with Optimus Prime, perhaps it will help him be a little less obsessed with it. I don't know.
I haven't introduced them to Déa yet. I'm waiting for Eastre/Ostara to do that.
My kids have been asking questions about how worlds are made. I've been answering with scientific facts, as best I know them. Then comes the question of "But why does it work like that?" and "Where do the parts come from?" I've replied with "No one knows for sure. But the gods help make it happen." My youngest child, who is a huge Transformers fan has decided to ask the gods to make Cybertron real. He sat down and drew up blueprints for Cybertron and did his best to describe what it needed. Then he put that on the altar. I think it may be time to explain the concept of a multi-verse to him, this way he can stop obsessing quite so much with the concept of visiting Cybertron. If he knows that somewhere out there is another universe where Cybertron is real and another version of himself has visited it and is friends with Optimus Prime, perhaps it will help him be a little less obsessed with it. I don't know.
1/27/20
Sweeten your luck jar
Moving in the opposite direction, I made a thing today that is just as delightful to the eye as what I made last week. This one, however, is far more pleasant in its orientation. It is a spell jar to increase good luck and prosperity, among other things.
Ingredients:
cocoa nibs
rose petals
orange peel (dried)
pink Himalayan salt
spring water (tap water can substitute)
sugar (honey or stevia can be used in place of it)
chocolate vodka (or a small quantity of wine or other alcoholic beverage)
quartz crystal chip
bottle to contain it all
candle (to seal with wax)
Process:
With a mortar and pestle, grind the dry ingredients together until a uniform powder. Carefully transfer into your bottle, making sure you don't lose any of it. (I used a paper funnel because my bottle is tiny.) Add your crystal. Then your sweetener. Then your alcohol of choice. Top the bottle off with water. Close it up. Seal with wax.
Method:
Draw a sigil of what you seek to draw to you (money, good luck, romance, etc.) and fold into a shape small enough to fit under your bottle. Shake the bottle to mix ingredients. Place on your sigil and let this sit in a quiet place where it can be subject to natural light. Declare your intent before you set your luck bottle on your sigil. Shake to reactivate or add more potency to your spell on a regular basis. When spell manifests, which can be immediate or up to one month, remove the sigil from beneath the jar and place it in a safe place. When not in use, place your spell jar in a cool, dark shelf where it can steep its ingredients and become more potent over time.
Reasoning:
Cocoa nibs: sweetness and luxury
Rose petals: love and affection
Orange peel: prosperity
Pink Himalayan salt: bind the spell together
Sweetner: sweetness and luxury
Alcohol: bind the spell together and luxury
Crystal chip: prosperity
Water: flowing good fortune
Natural light: empowerment and blessings from nature
Ingredients:
cocoa nibs
rose petals
orange peel (dried)
pink Himalayan salt
spring water (tap water can substitute)
sugar (honey or stevia can be used in place of it)
chocolate vodka (or a small quantity of wine or other alcoholic beverage)
quartz crystal chip
bottle to contain it all
candle (to seal with wax)
Process:
With a mortar and pestle, grind the dry ingredients together until a uniform powder. Carefully transfer into your bottle, making sure you don't lose any of it. (I used a paper funnel because my bottle is tiny.) Add your crystal. Then your sweetener. Then your alcohol of choice. Top the bottle off with water. Close it up. Seal with wax.
Method:
Draw a sigil of what you seek to draw to you (money, good luck, romance, etc.) and fold into a shape small enough to fit under your bottle. Shake the bottle to mix ingredients. Place on your sigil and let this sit in a quiet place where it can be subject to natural light. Declare your intent before you set your luck bottle on your sigil. Shake to reactivate or add more potency to your spell on a regular basis. When spell manifests, which can be immediate or up to one month, remove the sigil from beneath the jar and place it in a safe place. When not in use, place your spell jar in a cool, dark shelf where it can steep its ingredients and become more potent over time.
Reasoning:
Cocoa nibs: sweetness and luxury
Rose petals: love and affection
Orange peel: prosperity
Pink Himalayan salt: bind the spell together
Sweetner: sweetness and luxury
Alcohol: bind the spell together and luxury
Crystal chip: prosperity
Water: flowing good fortune
Natural light: empowerment and blessings from nature
1/22/20
Cursing jar. (Not to be confused with swear jar)
Because of this stupid cold and the kinda busy/chaotic way things have been for the last few weeks, I've lost track of the moon phase and such. We've snow on the ground and the temperature is reasonable for the season, I guess.
I made something today. Rather than just writing it down in my notebook, I decided to post it here in case someone actually had need of it. It's called a cursing jar/bottle. There's a bunch of different ways to make one. It is a semi-passive way to curse people. As per always, be careful casting curses because they have a way to turn back on you if you're not lucky or prepared.
Ingredients:
1 small jar or bottle with stopper
Small quantity of black pepper (in the peppercorn variety)
Small quantity of thorns
Ground red pepper (the spicy kind) or dried pequin peppers
Small quantity of salt
One steel nail (if rusty it is more effective)
Vinegar (if you want to be 'traditional', use urine)
Candle for sealing jar shut
Process:
First clean your jar or bottle completely. Let it dry. Add enough black pepper to cover the base of the jar. Add enough thorns to cover the peppercorns. Add your ground red pepper to layer over the thorns. Add the salt to cover the red pepper. Drop in your nail. Fill with vinegar. Close your jar and seal shut with enough wax so that no liquid will leak out when you shake the jar.
To use, have a target in mind and a paper representation of them. Could be a sigil just for them. It could be a picture or their name written down. Shake the jar to activate it. Pronounce your curse upon the target and place the cursing jar on the representation of your target. Leave the jar on the representation for as long as you want the curse to be active. To remove the curse, take the jar off of the image and state "My will is done. I'm through with this, begone [name]." This acts to mark the end of the curse and to send the target of the curse away from you. If you can muster up spite in your words as you pronounce the end of the curse, the farther away your target will be pushed from your sphere of influence.
Now, why did I use these ingredients?
Black pepper is an irritant. Thorns cause pain and injury. Red chili pepper is a major irritant (the stuff that makes the peppers spicy in red chili peppers is used to make bear spray). The salt is to bind the target and causes pain when rubbed into injuries. The steel nail is obvious, I hope. If not, just think of how it would feel to step on one. The vinegar is another irritant. And sealing the jar shut is just a practical measure to keep things from making a mess all over the place when you shake the jar.
If you're familiar with the 'hot foot' curse, you'll recognize that most of what I put in here is similar to that curse's jar component. It works a lot like the 'hot foot' curse. It causes irritation, suffering, and pain to the target as long as the curse is activated. It is possible to add more potency to the curse by repeating the curse and shaking the jar daily.
I made something today. Rather than just writing it down in my notebook, I decided to post it here in case someone actually had need of it. It's called a cursing jar/bottle. There's a bunch of different ways to make one. It is a semi-passive way to curse people. As per always, be careful casting curses because they have a way to turn back on you if you're not lucky or prepared.
Ingredients:
1 small jar or bottle with stopper
Small quantity of black pepper (in the peppercorn variety)
Small quantity of thorns
Ground red pepper (the spicy kind) or dried pequin peppers
Small quantity of salt
One steel nail (if rusty it is more effective)
Vinegar (if you want to be 'traditional', use urine)
Candle for sealing jar shut
Process:
First clean your jar or bottle completely. Let it dry. Add enough black pepper to cover the base of the jar. Add enough thorns to cover the peppercorns. Add your ground red pepper to layer over the thorns. Add the salt to cover the red pepper. Drop in your nail. Fill with vinegar. Close your jar and seal shut with enough wax so that no liquid will leak out when you shake the jar.
To use, have a target in mind and a paper representation of them. Could be a sigil just for them. It could be a picture or their name written down. Shake the jar to activate it. Pronounce your curse upon the target and place the cursing jar on the representation of your target. Leave the jar on the representation for as long as you want the curse to be active. To remove the curse, take the jar off of the image and state "My will is done. I'm through with this, begone [name]." This acts to mark the end of the curse and to send the target of the curse away from you. If you can muster up spite in your words as you pronounce the end of the curse, the farther away your target will be pushed from your sphere of influence.
Now, why did I use these ingredients?
Black pepper is an irritant. Thorns cause pain and injury. Red chili pepper is a major irritant (the stuff that makes the peppers spicy in red chili peppers is used to make bear spray). The salt is to bind the target and causes pain when rubbed into injuries. The steel nail is obvious, I hope. If not, just think of how it would feel to step on one. The vinegar is another irritant. And sealing the jar shut is just a practical measure to keep things from making a mess all over the place when you shake the jar.
If you're familiar with the 'hot foot' curse, you'll recognize that most of what I put in here is similar to that curse's jar component. It works a lot like the 'hot foot' curse. It causes irritation, suffering, and pain to the target as long as the curse is activated. It is possible to add more potency to the curse by repeating the curse and shaking the jar daily.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)