Egregore project update.

 My life has become so disordered that I only know that the moon is waning and I've no idea what sign it is in or how far along it is in waning. We're not officially at drought status but if things keep being weird, we may hit it. We're in the Filianic month of Rosea (officially we are on the 7th day of Rosea). It's been a weird bit of time since my last post. My brain tried to go 'splody again and I'm sleeping real badly. I am trying to get things back onto an even keel but it's proving challenging.

Which brings me to the Egregore project. The doll contained in the jar is the charged object for the egregore to inhabit. It was in a black velvet bag and things kinda went haywire on the magical front. The egregore wanted some visibility and for me to stop avoiding it. I recognized that there was enough volatile, chaotic energy in it that I had to contain it. The times I left the doll out in the open, weird things that were generally triggering my c-ptsd kept happening. 

The glass jar is a compromise. The doll gets seen and acknowledged with a prominent place on the desk as the jar contains some of that energy that is pent up in it. I haven't done a conversation with the egregore in a while because I just haven't been up to it. It has been lurking, waiting for me to work with it again. As we hit the dark phase of the moon this month, I'm going to attempt another conversation. I'll post it up here like I did the last one. (Because my book of shadows is a mess and I have no where to put the transcripts right now.)

Now, the contrast between the doll and myself is dramatic. The doll, however, is a very accurate representation of how my younger self viewed themselves. If I were able to find a dark haired Cinderella with her apron and kerchief, it would have been perfect. Still, you work with what you have. The egregore is designed to access buried memories and repressed emotions. There's a lot of ugly stuff beneath the surface due to the high degree of trauma that I experienced when I was younger. The goal of the work with the egregore is to process this stuff.

It's gotten complicated as my trauma responses went into overdrive last August and my brain tried to go 'splody. This has also delayed the active work with the egregore. So, I know that the next few weeks are going to be interesting on the magical front.