I have no idea what I am doing.

 Waning Wolf Moon (Age: 28 days)
Sign: Sagittarius
Weather: Stupidly cold, fair skies
Snow depth: approx. 4 in.
Drought status: N/A
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Just when I hit a point where I felt like I had some kind of a grasp on my diabetes, it got thrown topsy-turvy. I was having high fasting blood sugar numbers and such despite my following my prescribed diet. That was about this time last year. I was told to eat less and cut out most fats and cheese. I spent the last year doing that (with a great deal of vexation and upset). Then last night I scared the hell out of myself.

Yesterday, I seemed to have finally gotten my blood sugar issue under some resemblance of control. Except when it was time to get ready for bed, I checked my blood sugar and it was going down despite the fact that I ate a snack to prevent it from dropping too low. The whole reason I checked my blood sugar was Loki.

He was cracking jokes about what pranks we should pull on my father-in-law when he suddenly became stone sober and serious. He told me to check my blood sugar right at that moment. That was when I discovered that my blood sugar had dropped from when I had eaten my snack an hour before hand. I had a bit of a freak out, because I ate the first snack of the evening due to the fact that my blood sugar was down at 99. You don't want it to go below 70 or bad things happen when you have diabetes. When Loki basically snapped to and ordered me to check my sugar, it dropped from 99 to 87. I ate my second snack of the night and got angry. 

I was furious that my body was acting stupid. I was frightened that my blood sugar was going to continue to drop. Anger was easier to handle than being terrified. Loki and Beloved were empathetic to my anger. Freyr was unflappable and just waiting. After I got through being angry and finished my bed time routine, I was cuddling in bed with Beloved. And the cycle of anger-fear-grief started all over again. That's when Loki interrupted it with some dirty jokes. Which I shared with Beloved, who started making his own jokes. Between the two of them, they got me laughing enough that I wasn't angry or afraid. I was just tired.

That was when Beloved kissed me on the head and wandered off to take care of some stuff (promising to me up in a few hours to check my blood sugar). Loki patted me on the ankle and when poof. That was when Freyr wrapped himself around me and quietly assured me that I was going to be alright. I just felt like I had been put through a wringer emotionally. Somehow, I fell asleep as Freyr held me tightly against him. Beloved woke me up a few hours later and I said that I felt like I was going to be ok. I complained that my hand hurt and then fell back asleep.

I slept a solid ten hours. I haven't done that in about a year. I woke up feeling a bit groggy but relieved that I even woke up at all. When I did wake up, Freyr was sitting on the foot of my bed. He put his finger to his lips to warn me to be quiet. So, I was quiet and found that Beloved and the kids were still resting. I got moving about and the grogginess wore off. When I checked my blood sugar it was 145, not an ideal fasting blood sugar but better than 200 something, which it should have been given how much I had eaten in my panic over the numbers in the evening before.

Somewhere in the process of the morning as everybody was waking up, Freyr said to me, "You know, you'll be alright. As long as you keep trying and paying attention, you will be alright. But, that postprandial number is one you want to bring up with your doctor. This is why you have to keep a log of everything. It's your weapon against the disease so that you can be healthy and ask the right questions to stay that way." Then he smiled at me and was gone off into the ether as my kids started demanding breakfast.

TL:DR - I had a minor panic over my diabetes stuff as Loki, Beloved, and Freyr all coached me through it. Because having an anxiety disorder on top of diabetes requires a support network.