8/22/12

1/2 Year veiled.

Waxing Blue Moon (Age: 5 days)
Sign: Scorpio
Weather: Fair, Cool
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So, I have been wearing a veil for half a year now. Looking back on it, I think it has contributed to my feeling more in control of my life. I know that it has done wonders for my sense of safety. I don't know what my therapist would say about how it impact my psychological well being, but I am not doing this for the sake of my psychological health, that's just a pleasant side effect. I am becoming more comfortable with my appearance and viewing myself as a beautiful woman. This is a very big step.

Images like the one above and those of the Blessed Virgin Mary have proven inspiring. As I look for more images from around the world and in history, I find myself becoming increasingly more comfortable with veiling. It is now a case where I don't feel fully dressed with out something on my head. When I'm in the house and around my family, I am going bare headed but it is not as frequent as it used to be.

The general reaction of my scarves has been neutral to pleasant. I was concerned at the beginning that I was going to encounter a lot of hostility. Instead I found people actually tending to treat me with greater deference. Men pause to open the door for me and people are more patient with me. I think it is because most of the women around here who cover are members of the more conservative Christian groups. I say nothing to disabuse anyone of the notion but it has made for a pleasant surprise.

In my spiritual life, I am finding that my scarves act as a reminder for me that I am sacred. It encourages me to treat myself with greater respect. I am leaning towards making or buying a special veil for only when I do oracular work. I am torn as to which would be a greater benefit. Amusingly, one of my new favorite scarves was picked out for me by Loki, one of my patrons. Sigyn, one of my matrons, has said that it is appropriate that I wear a veil to tell the world that I am a married woman and a priestess. She hasn't explained to me how that exactly works, but she is also strongly advocating that I have a special veil set aside for when I pray or do magic, as well as a special shawl for this.

8/9/12

Ponderings & Poppets.

Waning Wheat Moon (Age: 20 days)
Sign: Aries
Weather: Fair, seasonable temperatures, 
mild drought conditions
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Loki and Odin have decided to put me to work on eradicating unhealthy elements of my past by way of a funeral. I've made the poppet in question. I have done what I could to impress the painful and terrifying aspects of the past into it. I feel, however, that I have not done a reasonably good job of it. I am reluctant to do much along the lines of something with this poppet because I am so incredibly hesitant to accidentally fling harmful energy back down the line towards other people.

I don't want to hurt them, no matter how much they have hurt me in the past. I feel that it is not my place to mete out punishment. Loki, Odin, and the other Aesir have been decidedly silent on it. Hel simply looks at me, waiting for me to act. It is unnerving. She knows, however, that I will need her help on this, so she waits for me to turn to her.

8/1/12

Meditation: Places of Spirit - The Garden

Below is a guided meditation. It is somewhat rough. This is because it serves as an outline which you may improve upon. To find your way 'out' of the meditation, simply have the subject walk on the path that leads directly to the door. Then have them unlock the door, exit, relock the door, and use a standard trance ending procedure.

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Before you is a door, an entry into a hidden, secret place within yourself. This place is known only to you and is sacred, for it is part of you. In your dominant hand, there is a key. You unlock this door, pass through, and then turn, locking it again. You are safe from all harm here, all psychic energy thrown at you waits beyond the locked door as you remain safe within yourself.

When you turn from  the door, you find yourself before a vast garden. It stretches as far as the eye can see. It is filled with all manor of green, growing things. Flowers of every color, trees, bushes, and things that are fantastic, wondrous plants of your dreams flourish here. This garden is the garden of your spirit.

As you walk through it, you find that there are plants and how they are arranged correspond to your dreams, desires, and goals. You find there are other plants and features that correspond with other aspects of yourself. As you become acquainted with your spirit garden, you realize that it is a landscape that reflects your soul in all of its multiple facets.

Places that are healthy and pleasing to the eye are the healthy parts of yourself that you are comfortable with. Places that are healthy but not aesthetically pleasing are healthy aspects of yourself that you are not comfortable with. Places that are unhealthy are the parts of you which are unhealthy spiritually. Negative habits appear here as invasive plants, weeds, and plant diseases. This includes the unhealthy thought patterns that are the basis of these habits.

You will also find that there are places within your garden that lead to parts of your mind. One path leads you to where you put the parts of your spirit that you hide from the world at large. Another leads you to where your dreams take place. There are many, many different paths in this garden and the plants aligned along them correspond with each aspect it deals with.

At the center of the garden is a structure. It is the most sacred part of this garden. Within, you have a sacred space where you commune with the Divine. It is as elaborate (or simple) as your ideal place of worship would be. It holds all the tools you would need and is always accessible to you.

Blessed Lughnasadh!