Full Pink Moon (Age: 16 days)
Weather: Fair skies, seasonable
Tonight, I didn't do a ritual. The day was simply too wacky for me to get all of my proverbial ducks into a row. I've lit the candles on my altar and put out an offering for the gods, my ancestors, and the house spirits. I made a point of getting something alcoholic because it's good to give them something special from time to time.
This, combined with my offering some of my meal, has composed the predominant 'body' of my observances for this month. Friends of mine are observing Beltane this weekend. I wish them great happiness and joy. I will be observing it on the first of May before going to the art show opening. It is my hope that this celebration will be the first of many.
I am still striving to continue to pray the Filianic rosary every Monday morning. It is a little practice that makes me feel closer to Dea. In its own way, I am finding myself drawn back to the Wiccan Lady by way of Dea. It is a somewhat confusing thing. It seems that everything moves in circles, somehow. I am drawn back to the practices that I had towards the beginning of this 'journey.'
Dea simply smiles at my bewilderment. She smiles at so much that I do. It is a wonderful thing. I am deeply grateful for this. It tells me that I am doing the right thing. It is, I confess, an awkward thing for me to both have Dea as the Filianic goddess and the myriad of goddesses that I follow.
And beneath these different forms, there is something older. It is something that moves as the manifest, the particle, and the 'real' aspect of the Universe. It's twin is there beneath the different forms of the gods that I follow. The potential, the energy, and the 'imagined' aspect of the Universe. These are not separate but they are distinct. Male versus female is only for the sake of my limited language. They are. And together, they make the whole, indescribable and vast.
That whole, as distant and unfeeling as it seems on my bad days, is there and constantly with me. I will never be alone. I am not only accompanied by the Divine, I am a part of it. It is an awe inspiring thing. It is also incredibly humbling. And that is what I find myself thinking about this evening.