Love is the prime mover of all things. And it is for Love's sake that we have gathered today to witness the union of these two people (Name) and (Name). Do you (Name) take this person, (Name) as your lawfully wedded spouse? Do you (Name) take this person, (Name) as your lawfully wedded spouse? Do you, the gathered, witness this exchanging of vows?
It is by the power vested in me by the State of New York and the authority of the Church of Ancient Paths, I pronounce (Name) and (Name) as husband and wife/wife and husband/husband and husband/wife and wife.
5/31/13
5/8/13
God's got my back.
Waning Pink Moon (Age: 28 days)
Sign: Taurus
Weather: Seasonable, cloudy with
intermittent rain
~*~*~*~*~*~
I didn't sleep well last night. It happens some times. The thing that makes this notable isn't my poor sleep last night but how I woke from my nap this morning. I was having horrific nightmares. I kept trying to wake myself from them and failing. Then, as I was having a nightmare of being trapped in an office fending off some violent people with a pistol (for all my gamer friends & readers, I was taking only headshots and succeeding but it was like the zombie outbreak from hell), Frey sent in people to pull me out of it.
I went from crouching at a door, desperately conserving ammo and doing my best to aim to watching as a group of special forces operatives mowed down the people amassed against me. When I looked at them, their clothes and appearances shifted. In one glance, they looked like U.S. special ops. In the next, they looked like vikings. They kept moving back and forth between these two groups as they cut their way through the swath of foes.
When they reached me, the leader of the group said "Frey sent me." but I heard at the same time "Seal team six." As soon has he put a hand on my wrist, the tableaux changed and I was in the dance studio that served as Sensei Cathy's dojo. Frey was there, even as I was struggling to break myself free from a wrist hold that I was in with a very tall man and beginning to panic.
Frey walked up and said "Time to wake up." And then I felt like I was pulled up out of deep water. I woke with a gasp for air, even as the lingering, creeping feeling of terror was still settled over me. I lay for a few minutes under the covers, looking around the room and reassuring myself that I was awake. It took me a little bit.
I was still feeling terribly unsettled when I sat down at the computer. Then Frey helped me again. He pointed out a song that Beloved has on here. As I listened to it, I was moved to tears because I realized it was a song that reminded him of me. Frey quietly said to me "You need to remember what is real."
Sometimes, my greatest foe is not outside of my head. Sometimes, it is my very active imagination and past trauma. It may sound a little strange to say that a nightmare of fending off terrorists (?) is related to past trauma, but in the snarled web of my mind, it does make sense. I had been struggling with a blurring of the present and the past, with only a brief respite when Beloved and I had sex last night.
Frey grabbed hold of me and dragged me back into the present even as he ripped me out of my nightmares. I know it doesn't sound like much for a 'theological' musing, but I feel that this fits the theme. It's not everyday that you get a very direct reminder that gods are here to help you. Well, in my cause, I guess it should say it's not everyday that I need a clue by four to the head on that one. Either way, I am thankful to him.
I still feel a bit off, but nothing like what I would have been like with out his help.
4/26/13
Full Pink Moon Ramblings
Full Pink Moon (Age: 16 days)
Sign: Scorpio
Weather: Fair skies, seasonable
~*~*~*~*~*~
Tonight, I didn't do a ritual. The day was simply too wacky for me to get all of my proverbial ducks into a row. I've lit the candles on my altar and put out an offering for the gods, my ancestors, and the house spirits. I made a point of getting something alcoholic because it's good to give them something special from time to time.
This, combined with my offering some of my meal, has composed the predominant 'body' of my observances for this month. Friends of mine are observing Beltane this weekend. I wish them great happiness and joy. I will be observing it on the first of May before going to the art show opening. It is my hope that this celebration will be the first of many.
I am still striving to continue to pray the Filianic rosary every Monday morning. It is a little practice that makes me feel closer to Dea. In its own way, I am finding myself drawn back to the Wiccan Lady by way of Dea. It is a somewhat confusing thing. It seems that everything moves in circles, somehow. I am drawn back to the practices that I had towards the beginning of this 'journey.'
Dea simply smiles at my bewilderment. She smiles at so much that I do. It is a wonderful thing. I am deeply grateful for this. It tells me that I am doing the right thing. It is, I confess, an awkward thing for me to both have Dea as the Filianic goddess and the myriad of goddesses that I follow.
And beneath these different forms, there is something older. It is something that moves as the manifest, the particle, and the 'real' aspect of the Universe. It's twin is there beneath the different forms of the gods that I follow. The potential, the energy, and the 'imagined' aspect of the Universe. These are not separate but they are distinct. Male versus female is only for the sake of my limited language. They are. And together, they make the whole, indescribable and vast.
That whole, as distant and unfeeling as it seems on my bad days, is there and constantly with me. I will never be alone. I am not only accompanied by the Divine, I am a part of it. It is an awe inspiring thing. It is also incredibly humbling. And that is what I find myself thinking about this evening.
4/16/13
Publication? Don't mind if I do!
UPDATE!
I just got published! Here's a link to the book. It is under one of my oldest pen names, Lady Brythwen Sinclair. Please consider purchasing this little book of prayers. While they are written for the Filianic faith, they are equally applicable for goddess worship.
I just got published! Here's a link to the book. It is under one of my oldest pen names, Lady Brythwen Sinclair. Please consider purchasing this little book of prayers. While they are written for the Filianic faith, they are equally applicable for goddess worship.
4/2/13
In the Shadow of Spirit
In the Shadow of Spirit: Personal Glimpses of Spirit in Depression
(Dated: Spg. 2001)
As a woman, as a witch, this is alien ground for me. I am here studying at a Catholic college, a place where a faith unfamiliar to me is upheld as the moral guide and standard. When in need of solace, a student is advised to pray or to speak with their spiritual councilor, usually their minister or priest. The language used here speaks of the Christian God, the triune God that is embodied for that Catholic faith in God the Father; God the Son, or Jesus Christ, the Savior; and the Holy Spirit of GOd.
The rituals and practices of Catholicism are woven into the spirit of the college like a subtle gossamer thread that binds the disparate students to the faculty, and these lay people to the Convent and the clergy present here. They do their best to welcome all to their worship services, making them very public and open. All they ask of a visitor of another faith is respect and understanding. Most of the School Sisters of Notre Dame, if not all, I have found give the same respect and understanding to other faiths that have been encountered on campus.
The warmth and kindness that I have seen here has proven to be a reversal of my fears and expectations. Many in my faith are taught that witches and those who were like us were and still are persecuted with prejudice by all Christians, with special emphasis placed on Catholics. Yet, here, on this small, intimate campus, I find myself surrounded with the warm and loving embrace of common humanity and a special sense of sisterhood with the nuns here. They have encouraged my growth and study of my faith, in many respects they have offered guidance to me in my study.
In my hours of darkness, which sadly have been many, I have found myself reminded of the unfamiliar ground that I tread here. The gentle love for their fellow humanity and the motherly wisdom of the Sisters has been a support for me, but it can only sustain me for a limited point. I find myself facing questions, questions that not even their kind guidance and suggestions can help me answer. These are questions of spirit and of faith, which are sadly of a different spiritual language then that of Catholicism or Christianity.
I have often struggled in facing my womanhood; the focus of this struggle has often been on the after effects of being sexually assaulted and raped at one point in my past. The answers that have been suggested for the question of 'why' have ranged from "God working in mysterious ways" to "having the experiences to teach others how to be safe." In counseling and through my study of the psychology of survivors, the horrific randomness and senselessness of the violence perpetrated on me cuts through these potentially soothing answers. Thus, I am left with no spiritual support on which I can lean when I find my wounds bleed too heavily for me to lift my head, let alone walk through life with the strength to carry my own weight and that of my history.
The bleeding of these psychic wounds, wounds to my memory and spirit, manifests in my problems with depression. They are aggravated by the blows and challenges I encounter in my life and world, at times simply oozing proverbial blood and others bleeding heavily and full of the foul stench of putrefaction. I have often yearned simply to lay down, to let myself succumb to the desires to do away with myself or let my situations continue to abuse me, thereby obliterating any sense of self that would need protection or care.
This yearning is an expression of the deep exhaustion I feel, for the fight has been long and hard. When misery casts its hand over me, I find that I stumble into a shadowed place where spiritual strength is hidden from me. It is then that I wish for the sleep of death, and the rest that would come to my spirit in the other world that it journey to, be it the Heaven of my Catholic sisters or the Tir NanOG of my own path.
In these times of darkness and the desire for sleep, something pricks me and keeps me fighting. It ranges from anger to love to something unnameable. It is this nameless force that has given me to believe that perhaps a spiritual answer is in my own faith for what happens to us when we suffer, even if there may not be a higher cause of it. Each fleeting contact with this nameless force, I find myself aware of the large breadth of suffering in the world, if not the Universe. It was a meditation on the cross and the Passion of Jesus Christ that brought me awareness of what this nameless force could most likely be.
Often, it is taught that Jesus suffered on the cross for the sins of the world, to place his blood between the hard gaze of God and the world. In this ultimate sacrifice, the Son of God mediated for the well being of his breathren humanity. I see many expressing this Christian mystery in the words "Jesus suffered for you" on everything from jewelery to bumper stickers. This mystery begs a question, though. If a relationship with anyone is reciprocal, would your suffering, in any form, be for Jesus?
As I continued with this thought, it came to me in a sudden flash of inspiration that when we suffer, we do not suffer alone. Not only is their solidarity in our fellow humanity, who in many circumstances would suffer with us, but we can find that the unnameable higher power that is called God by the Christians, or Goddess by witches like myself, suffers with us. Some would argue that suffering must be exalted, for some noble cause or religious reason, for this to be true. I can not honesty say this, because in the use of the expression "Jesus suffered for you" it becomes possible to say that Jesus suffered with hunger, insult, or even mild discomfort for our sakes, because the statement does not specify the cause of his suffering.
In my own faith, we are taught that the Goddess is within us and that we are a part of her. This makes it a very real teaching for one to say that the Goddess suffers with us when we are harmed. When we suffer moments of weakness, so too does the Goddess. Arguing that the higher aspect or power of the Universe can only feel positive emotions or "righteous" emotions is foolish. Who are we to know the mind of God or Goddess or whatever name you call this higher power by?
We barely know our own mind and nothing about the mind of other humans. We have not yet begun to truly know anything about the workings of the world, let alone the mind of the world. And yet many would dare to say that the Divine mind is not touched by feelings of sorrow or other 'base' emotions. Our ignorance is a blessing and a curse. It shields us from truths that we are not ready to know and it constrains us to learn through trial and error about the Divine. In my times of depression and sorrow, I often find that I reflect on the fact that we cannot know everything about the higher aspect of the Universe.
This mystery frightens me, because it is the unknown. Perhaps some day, this fear will fade from my heart, because there is much about myself that is unknown and I do not fear myself. In the end, the advise of the Sisters lead me to this revelation. It was through their own religion that I came to a truism about mine. Our spiritual languages may be different, but perhaps our problems of spirit are the same. I can say that through each moment of darkness and spiritual weariness, I have learned something of my faith and myself.
When I emerge from them, I am transformed and I find that I am perhaps stronger, or my own strength has been proven to me. In this respect, suffering is a blessing to be welcomed into our lives. But suffering is not joy, and I suspect that joyful suffering can not exist. Suffering is pain, and while pain is perhaps the greatest teacher, it is not to be trifled with. For even when our spirits yearn to rest, we are still challenged by the shadows of spirit even as we are challenged by the light of its wisdom.
~~~~
Addendum: This was written while I was still learning the deeper theology of my faith. My position upon the matter of suffering has evolved greatly. I feel, however, that it is important to present this to show how my understanding has evolved and developed.
(Dated: Spg. 2001)
As a woman, as a witch, this is alien ground for me. I am here studying at a Catholic college, a place where a faith unfamiliar to me is upheld as the moral guide and standard. When in need of solace, a student is advised to pray or to speak with their spiritual councilor, usually their minister or priest. The language used here speaks of the Christian God, the triune God that is embodied for that Catholic faith in God the Father; God the Son, or Jesus Christ, the Savior; and the Holy Spirit of GOd.
The rituals and practices of Catholicism are woven into the spirit of the college like a subtle gossamer thread that binds the disparate students to the faculty, and these lay people to the Convent and the clergy present here. They do their best to welcome all to their worship services, making them very public and open. All they ask of a visitor of another faith is respect and understanding. Most of the School Sisters of Notre Dame, if not all, I have found give the same respect and understanding to other faiths that have been encountered on campus.
The warmth and kindness that I have seen here has proven to be a reversal of my fears and expectations. Many in my faith are taught that witches and those who were like us were and still are persecuted with prejudice by all Christians, with special emphasis placed on Catholics. Yet, here, on this small, intimate campus, I find myself surrounded with the warm and loving embrace of common humanity and a special sense of sisterhood with the nuns here. They have encouraged my growth and study of my faith, in many respects they have offered guidance to me in my study.
In my hours of darkness, which sadly have been many, I have found myself reminded of the unfamiliar ground that I tread here. The gentle love for their fellow humanity and the motherly wisdom of the Sisters has been a support for me, but it can only sustain me for a limited point. I find myself facing questions, questions that not even their kind guidance and suggestions can help me answer. These are questions of spirit and of faith, which are sadly of a different spiritual language then that of Catholicism or Christianity.
I have often struggled in facing my womanhood; the focus of this struggle has often been on the after effects of being sexually assaulted and raped at one point in my past. The answers that have been suggested for the question of 'why' have ranged from "God working in mysterious ways" to "having the experiences to teach others how to be safe." In counseling and through my study of the psychology of survivors, the horrific randomness and senselessness of the violence perpetrated on me cuts through these potentially soothing answers. Thus, I am left with no spiritual support on which I can lean when I find my wounds bleed too heavily for me to lift my head, let alone walk through life with the strength to carry my own weight and that of my history.
The bleeding of these psychic wounds, wounds to my memory and spirit, manifests in my problems with depression. They are aggravated by the blows and challenges I encounter in my life and world, at times simply oozing proverbial blood and others bleeding heavily and full of the foul stench of putrefaction. I have often yearned simply to lay down, to let myself succumb to the desires to do away with myself or let my situations continue to abuse me, thereby obliterating any sense of self that would need protection or care.
This yearning is an expression of the deep exhaustion I feel, for the fight has been long and hard. When misery casts its hand over me, I find that I stumble into a shadowed place where spiritual strength is hidden from me. It is then that I wish for the sleep of death, and the rest that would come to my spirit in the other world that it journey to, be it the Heaven of my Catholic sisters or the Tir NanOG of my own path.
In these times of darkness and the desire for sleep, something pricks me and keeps me fighting. It ranges from anger to love to something unnameable. It is this nameless force that has given me to believe that perhaps a spiritual answer is in my own faith for what happens to us when we suffer, even if there may not be a higher cause of it. Each fleeting contact with this nameless force, I find myself aware of the large breadth of suffering in the world, if not the Universe. It was a meditation on the cross and the Passion of Jesus Christ that brought me awareness of what this nameless force could most likely be.
Often, it is taught that Jesus suffered on the cross for the sins of the world, to place his blood between the hard gaze of God and the world. In this ultimate sacrifice, the Son of God mediated for the well being of his breathren humanity. I see many expressing this Christian mystery in the words "Jesus suffered for you" on everything from jewelery to bumper stickers. This mystery begs a question, though. If a relationship with anyone is reciprocal, would your suffering, in any form, be for Jesus?
As I continued with this thought, it came to me in a sudden flash of inspiration that when we suffer, we do not suffer alone. Not only is their solidarity in our fellow humanity, who in many circumstances would suffer with us, but we can find that the unnameable higher power that is called God by the Christians, or Goddess by witches like myself, suffers with us. Some would argue that suffering must be exalted, for some noble cause or religious reason, for this to be true. I can not honesty say this, because in the use of the expression "Jesus suffered for you" it becomes possible to say that Jesus suffered with hunger, insult, or even mild discomfort for our sakes, because the statement does not specify the cause of his suffering.
In my own faith, we are taught that the Goddess is within us and that we are a part of her. This makes it a very real teaching for one to say that the Goddess suffers with us when we are harmed. When we suffer moments of weakness, so too does the Goddess. Arguing that the higher aspect or power of the Universe can only feel positive emotions or "righteous" emotions is foolish. Who are we to know the mind of God or Goddess or whatever name you call this higher power by?
We barely know our own mind and nothing about the mind of other humans. We have not yet begun to truly know anything about the workings of the world, let alone the mind of the world. And yet many would dare to say that the Divine mind is not touched by feelings of sorrow or other 'base' emotions. Our ignorance is a blessing and a curse. It shields us from truths that we are not ready to know and it constrains us to learn through trial and error about the Divine. In my times of depression and sorrow, I often find that I reflect on the fact that we cannot know everything about the higher aspect of the Universe.
This mystery frightens me, because it is the unknown. Perhaps some day, this fear will fade from my heart, because there is much about myself that is unknown and I do not fear myself. In the end, the advise of the Sisters lead me to this revelation. It was through their own religion that I came to a truism about mine. Our spiritual languages may be different, but perhaps our problems of spirit are the same. I can say that through each moment of darkness and spiritual weariness, I have learned something of my faith and myself.
When I emerge from them, I am transformed and I find that I am perhaps stronger, or my own strength has been proven to me. In this respect, suffering is a blessing to be welcomed into our lives. But suffering is not joy, and I suspect that joyful suffering can not exist. Suffering is pain, and while pain is perhaps the greatest teacher, it is not to be trifled with. For even when our spirits yearn to rest, we are still challenged by the shadows of spirit even as we are challenged by the light of its wisdom.
~~~~
Addendum: This was written while I was still learning the deeper theology of my faith. My position upon the matter of suffering has evolved greatly. I feel, however, that it is important to present this to show how my understanding has evolved and developed.
3/20/13
Ostara 2013 & Easter
Blessed Ostara everyone.
To my sisters in the Filianic faith, I wish you all a most blessed Easter. I sit here on the day of the Equinox and I look at my life. I think about the promise of the season and the good that I have. The wheel of life turns and we march forward towards that warmth and abundance, even despite the snow flying through the air in my neck of the woods today. Soon, it will be the time of the Christian celebration of Easter and the other spring season celebrations (Jewish Passover, Holi, etc.) of the world.
While I sit here yearning for green things, I pause a moment to consider the rites of this season. The Blessed Daughter, Inanna/Anna goes down into the land of the dead. I penned the following prayer/poem upon this very matter.
To my sisters in the Filianic faith, I wish you all a most blessed Easter. I sit here on the day of the Equinox and I look at my life. I think about the promise of the season and the good that I have. The wheel of life turns and we march forward towards that warmth and abundance, even despite the snow flying through the air in my neck of the woods today. Soon, it will be the time of the Christian celebration of Easter and the other spring season celebrations (Jewish Passover, Holi, etc.) of the world.
While I sit here yearning for green things, I pause a moment to consider the rites of this season. The Blessed Daughter, Inanna/Anna goes down into the land of the dead. I penned the following prayer/poem upon this very matter.
Lo, lament my sisters
For
Dea's sorrow is upon us
The
silver moon wanes
The
seas hath swallowed the rivers
And
all life has gone still
Darkness
descends
And
the stars have gone dark
Cover
your faces and weep
For
the light has gone out of the world
No
fire may be kindled
No
arms embrace in love
All
is drowned in darkness and sorrow
Let
us mourn
For
She has gone from us
Into
the lands of Death
Were
no joy may follow
Weep,
my sisters,
Inanna
hath gone down into Hel
To
the cold queen's hall
Where
none may escape
Oddly enough, I feel that the death of Inanna is not contrary to the mythos of the Norse/Teutonic deities. It is simply another story that touches upon the tangled skein of the fates of the Nine Worlds. I am also of the mind that there are more then Nine Worlds, but it's a topic for a different day. Where the Filianic description of Hel is different then the Norse/Teutonic, it is merely a different version of the old stories where one dies and then is reborn.
Ing has died and now he is to rise up reborn with the grain. New shoots of life will rise up from the fertile soil. We turn from the death that has laid low the Blessed Ones to the new life that comes of that death. I truly believe that with that new life, there is the promise of reincarnation. Fertile fields will be ploughed and seed will be cast into them. Birds will produce eggs and animals will bear young. Life will rise triumphant over adversity.
In this, I find hope. And so, I share this prayer/poem with you as well.
Lift
up your voices in song!
Give
praise for the day!
Our
Lady liveth
And
hath set all to right in the world!
The
stream runneth to the sea
And
the stars chart their courses in the sky.
Angels
sing glories
As
the birds wing on high!
All
of nature proclaims her
Queen
of All Eternity.
Our
Lady's Mother on high!
Let
us give praise.
Let
us raise our voices in joyous cry!
All
praise to Our Lady
And
her thrice blessed Mother!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
These prayers are part of a manuscript soon to be published. I will make note of the details of this publication in the immediate future. Until then, blessed be! <3 br="">
3/17/13
Honoring my Ancestors.
Waxing Sap Moon (Age: 5 Days)
Sign: Gemini
Weather: Cold, partly cloudy
~*~*~*~*~*~
I seek to honor my ancestors. They are important to me because they are my heritage and because if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be walking the green Earth today. I started out thinking that if I remembered them at special occasions that it would be appropriate. Simple little things, like lighting a candle and saying a prayer for their well being, seemed to be a good thing to do.
Then, things began to change in my life. I found myself drawn to things like spinning and knitting. I realized that it wasn't just my curiosity or something similar prompting me to do these things. It was a keen desire to understand what my forefathers and foremothers did. One thing lead to another and now I find myself working to master handcrafts that were the cornerstone of their households.
I am drawn to 'heritage' cooking techniques (food preservation techniques, bread making skills, and old recipes from before WWI, for example). I am increasingly looking to simplify and be come more efficient as a housewife. I am actively moving towards incorporating homeschooling in my children's education. I have started attempting to keep a garden (as best I can manage in pots right now) and I am actively learning more about the plants in my area.
I'm not just doing this because I want to learn more (though that is part of my draw here). I am doing this in the attempt to preserve the knowledge that built my family. I want to make sure that I pass down to the next generations how to do things like make their own bread and what is the best way to mend old socks. Because I feel it is important that they have a sense of their roots.
It's not just a genealogy chart to look at or a coat of arms to hang on the wall. It's a living thing that is precious and must be cherished, lest this wonderful thing be lost. Family is more then the people who you are related to. It is the old stories passed down, the lullaby that has been sung to seven generations of children, the apple pie recipe that won the ribbon at the county fair in 1943. It is also what we do today to make our families stronger.
Someday, I will be one of the foremothers of the family. I want to make sure that what I pass down is worthy of that special honor. Thus, I cultivate my strengths, preserve the wisdom of the family, and attempt to forge new traditions that will continue to keep my kinsmen in health and wellness.
2/26/13
Witchlings and kidlets.
Full Candles Moon (Age: 15 days)
Sign: Virgo
Weather: Unseasonably warm, cloudy,
coming winter storm
~*~*~*~*~*~
It is a challenging thing to engage my two boys in spiritual education. A part of me says that they're too young to be learning about such things. Another part of me says that they would benefit from the lessons in self awareness and ecology that comes with a pagan upbringing. When these two parts get into conflict, the result is one very frustrated Momma witch.
I look at what other pagan parents are doing and I confess a touch of envy. Their children are doing little projects and crafty things. Getting my boys to sit down long enough to read a story is a task and a half. They just barely held their interest long enough to participate in the 'wishing candle' that we did last month. It is a struggle to tailor everything to their unique learning needs.
I'm desperately thankful for the fact that they've got professionals assisting them at school and for the progress they are making. I am striving to do the 'child lead' learning thing on this front but it is difficult. I'm attempting to resolve this with working on some child friendly books but I don't know how well they're going to go over with the boys. Not being sure how your audience will receive something is a rather awful feeling for any kind of artist.
I found some good ideas on About.com and I like the concept of getting the kids involved with rituals. They're very concrete in their thinking right now. Gods are a rather abstract concept. I'm striving to teach them to be gentle with plants and respectful of animals. I'd like to do a ritual but I don't know where to start. Looking at all of these wonderful ideas that other pagan parents have posted and I get frustrated.
Most of the ideas are great for children who are a bit more complex in their thinking then my boys. I want to get the involved but I don't know how. Add to this I am not sure how to approach the current 'Filianic Lent' season. I'm trying to pare down that which is not essential to my life and purify myself of unhealthy thought forms. I'm doing my best to wrap up the 'old business' from the last season.
My book of prayers for Dea is closer to being ready for publication. My children's manuscript of myths is in the final organization state. I start writing in the immediate future. I have various handcraft projects that I'm finishing up and generally doing my best to get everything ready for spring. I'm not sure how much else I'm going to find myself doing between now and the Equinox. I do what I can with what I have.
2/14/13
PBP: Week 7: C - Contemplation
I just realized I mixed up the letters for the two weeks. I don't think that makes too big of a difference, however. After all, I am the only one keeping score on that front.
Contemplation is the other half of prayer. Prayer is vocalization of what we wish to express to the Divine. It is also the ability to 'listen' for their response. Deep consideration of what our intuition tells us, coincidental events in our lives, and the general chain of causality that follows on the heels of our prayer is what is known as contemplation. I strongly urge any and everyone to engage in it. Sometimes it helps us to find the answers to the questions we have and sometimes it helps us to find the hand of the Divine in our lives.
Contemplation is the other half of prayer. Prayer is vocalization of what we wish to express to the Divine. It is also the ability to 'listen' for their response. Deep consideration of what our intuition tells us, coincidental events in our lives, and the general chain of causality that follows on the heels of our prayer is what is known as contemplation. I strongly urge any and everyone to engage in it. Sometimes it helps us to find the answers to the questions we have and sometimes it helps us to find the hand of the Divine in our lives.
PBP: Week 6: D - Determination
Determination is the ability to dig your heels in and stick with what you have chosen to do. It is 'keeping your shield up' and pushing forward through adversity. Not enough people are willing to recognize the power in such a simple thing as determination. It is what makes the world keep going.
1 Year Covered!
Waxing Candles Moon (Age: 4 days)
Sign: Ares
Weather: Unseasonably warm, fair/partly cloudy skies
~*~*~*~*~*~
So, it occurred to me today, this month marks the end of a full year of wearing a head covering. Looking back over the year, I've come to a few conclusions.
- Tichel styles are easy and look fantastic, with the right kind of scarf. Pashmina scarves do NOT work well for this type of look. And most of the square scarves I own are just shy of the right size to use for this. I need to correct this at some point in time.
- Hijab-ish styles are easier then they look. They are exceptionally comfortable. Also, people in my area do not have as negative of a reaction to it as I had expected. There were some asshats (as there always are) but people have generally raised an eyebrow at most.
- I need to wear something with a bit of height to it or I come out looking like a cancer patient.
- I have an almost unholy love of pashminas. Adapting tichel styles for use with them is NOT easy, but I am going to find away to do some of the tichel styles I love and flatter me!
- Having my head covered has proven quite soothing in the face of anxiety and social phobia. I have also found that this is most effective with scarves tied relatively snug and layers. Hats, on the other hand, are not as much my style.
- I do not feel right unless I have 90% of my hair covered when out in public.
I have also found that in taking this step, I have given myself permission to explore other aspects of my spirituality. I am also finding that I have a great deal more confidence in myself and what my intuition tells me. It has lead to deeper and more profound (and productive) spiritual contact with the deities I follow. On the whole, this has brought me health, happiness, and general well being. It has been a change for the better and I am going to stick with it.
2/2/13
An Invocation for Imbolc
This is also from the late 1990s.
Thrice blessed are you, Wise Brigid
Oh you, who granted the Bard his song
Oh you, who gifted the Druid his potent medicine
Oh you who has given the Smith his art
Keeper of the cauldron of knowledge
Guide my hand, oh Wise Brigid
Let my words be wise and true
Fill me with the blessed fire of inspiration
Aid me, Blessed Brigid, so I may learn the sacred mysteries of Truth
Thrice blessed are you, Wise Brigid
Oh you, who granted the Bard his song
Oh you, who gifted the Druid his potent medicine
Oh you who has given the Smith his art
Keeper of the cauldron of knowledge
Guide my hand, oh Wise Brigid
Let my words be wise and true
Fill me with the blessed fire of inspiration
Aid me, Blessed Brigid, so I may learn the sacred mysteries of Truth
Channeled wisdom.
A collection of channeled material from 1997-1999.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A sound body and mind lends itself to a sound spirit. A sound body is healthy, clean, and strong. A sound mind is free from the doubts that encourage self harm, hungers for knowledge, and filled with creative fire. From these elements is a sound spirit forged.
Greet the day with joy and gratitude. Greet the night with tranquility and reflection. By this way do you begin to have peace. Live your life with a sense of wonder and a keen knowledge of the joys given to you. Even the smallest thing is a magical wonder to treasure.
Self-empowerment comes in many forms. Complete the smallest task in your day and take pride in the work, and that you performed to the best of your ability. You shall quickly find that by doing this the largest of tasks are the easiest and you can succeed despite any odds.
Every day, set a challenge and meet it. Each day, take time to remember your past. And each day, plan for tomorrow. Always grow and make time every day to learn something new. Constructive imbalance moves the wheel forward, destructive imbalance moves it back.
Magic is a way of thought, action, and worship. Everything within and about you is magic. Rejoice in the quickening of life in all points, even in death.
To heal, one must hold the will to survive and life. To hold the will, one must have a reason within themselves. That reason is courage; think as a warrior, live with courage.
Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is in the soul and it radiates outward, reflected in form and grace. It captivates the eye, mind, and heart of the beloved more certainly then any spell craft. From this captivation grows love. Love is its own magic, its own way. It has always been with you and yet it is always newly discovered. Such is the way of true magic, both simple and complex. Love is truth in its infinite reflections. Fear not its might, for it protects you from the harshest of blows.
Speak truth of your hear with out far. Truth shall shelter and protect you from harm. With simple words and honest ways, all things can be righted and the balance restored. At the end of it all, great things will have been achieved with out effort.
Follow your joy as you do your passion. Return to your place of power and find your joy. Cling to it as you would to a plank in the ocean. Let the truth's currents shape your path. They shall aid you in your joy and destiny. Fate's price has been paid.
Magic is the art of transformation.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A sound body and mind lends itself to a sound spirit. A sound body is healthy, clean, and strong. A sound mind is free from the doubts that encourage self harm, hungers for knowledge, and filled with creative fire. From these elements is a sound spirit forged.
Greet the day with joy and gratitude. Greet the night with tranquility and reflection. By this way do you begin to have peace. Live your life with a sense of wonder and a keen knowledge of the joys given to you. Even the smallest thing is a magical wonder to treasure.
Self-empowerment comes in many forms. Complete the smallest task in your day and take pride in the work, and that you performed to the best of your ability. You shall quickly find that by doing this the largest of tasks are the easiest and you can succeed despite any odds.
Every day, set a challenge and meet it. Each day, take time to remember your past. And each day, plan for tomorrow. Always grow and make time every day to learn something new. Constructive imbalance moves the wheel forward, destructive imbalance moves it back.
Magic is a way of thought, action, and worship. Everything within and about you is magic. Rejoice in the quickening of life in all points, even in death.
To heal, one must hold the will to survive and life. To hold the will, one must have a reason within themselves. That reason is courage; think as a warrior, live with courage.
Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is in the soul and it radiates outward, reflected in form and grace. It captivates the eye, mind, and heart of the beloved more certainly then any spell craft. From this captivation grows love. Love is its own magic, its own way. It has always been with you and yet it is always newly discovered. Such is the way of true magic, both simple and complex. Love is truth in its infinite reflections. Fear not its might, for it protects you from the harshest of blows.
Speak truth of your hear with out far. Truth shall shelter and protect you from harm. With simple words and honest ways, all things can be righted and the balance restored. At the end of it all, great things will have been achieved with out effort.
Follow your joy as you do your passion. Return to your place of power and find your joy. Cling to it as you would to a plank in the ocean. Let the truth's currents shape your path. They shall aid you in your joy and destiny. Fate's price has been paid.
Magic is the art of transformation.
Trance writings circa 1997
I don't even remember writing this. I found it in with some old sketches from high school. I think this is from 1997, but I'm not entirely sure. Either way, I'm slapping it up here. Tranced writing sometimes is interesting and sometimes it is bland.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I am the Mother. My names are infinite, but always, I am the Mother eternal. All that is and ever shall exist are a part of Me. The universe is bound to Me as an infant who is growing within the womb. To some, I was impregnated by a consort. To others, I birthed myself through will and by this did I birth the universe. Both of these are true.
I am the Maiden, my heart trembling with emotion and I am a mystery to all who seek me. I am the child born of myself. I am the newborn psyche and the developed psyche before conceiving the child. To some, I am the laughing girl-child of Spring. To others, I am the chaste huntress of my mate. Either of these can be true, for I am both the child and mother.
I am the Crone. I am the bone-mother and iniatrix. I am the midwife of the mother, the teacher of the maiden, and the mother after birthing her child. I am the fairy maiden, youthful of form and ageless in spirit. All know me in names whispered, most powerful and enigmatic is that of death. All who fear me fail to see me as I am. For in transformation, I am the mother.
There are many who say that I am not the creatrix. Some believe that all that exist is a result of a creator. I am sorrowed for them because they fail to see that I show myself to the universe in many guises. My true form is so vast that not the greatest of minds and spirits can comprehend its way. To do so it to know the eternal ways and forms of the universe, a matter that is continually changing for I am the mother. I always birth new life into the universe.
Many of my children seek to know me as the mother. They look for me in many places but fail to see that they are but a part of me and that they have known me for all their lives. As the Wiccians have said, "Seek me within for I have been with you always and I shall be attained at the end of desire."
There are lessons that many forget because they are quite simple lessons. The mind often is so entrapped with complexities in this age that it dismisses the simple as unimportant. It is vital to embrace a simple path of life for it frees the mind to play in its puzzles and to celebrate life in simple joy.
Because my children are in need, I shall guide them. While these are the words of a woman, I impart my lesson through her. She is a teacher who brings my schooling to all who would listen.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I am the Mother. My names are infinite, but always, I am the Mother eternal. All that is and ever shall exist are a part of Me. The universe is bound to Me as an infant who is growing within the womb. To some, I was impregnated by a consort. To others, I birthed myself through will and by this did I birth the universe. Both of these are true.
I am the Maiden, my heart trembling with emotion and I am a mystery to all who seek me. I am the child born of myself. I am the newborn psyche and the developed psyche before conceiving the child. To some, I am the laughing girl-child of Spring. To others, I am the chaste huntress of my mate. Either of these can be true, for I am both the child and mother.
I am the Crone. I am the bone-mother and iniatrix. I am the midwife of the mother, the teacher of the maiden, and the mother after birthing her child. I am the fairy maiden, youthful of form and ageless in spirit. All know me in names whispered, most powerful and enigmatic is that of death. All who fear me fail to see me as I am. For in transformation, I am the mother.
There are many who say that I am not the creatrix. Some believe that all that exist is a result of a creator. I am sorrowed for them because they fail to see that I show myself to the universe in many guises. My true form is so vast that not the greatest of minds and spirits can comprehend its way. To do so it to know the eternal ways and forms of the universe, a matter that is continually changing for I am the mother. I always birth new life into the universe.
Many of my children seek to know me as the mother. They look for me in many places but fail to see that they are but a part of me and that they have known me for all their lives. As the Wiccians have said, "Seek me within for I have been with you always and I shall be attained at the end of desire."
There are lessons that many forget because they are quite simple lessons. The mind often is so entrapped with complexities in this age that it dismisses the simple as unimportant. It is vital to embrace a simple path of life for it frees the mind to play in its puzzles and to celebrate life in simple joy.
Because my children are in need, I shall guide them. While these are the words of a woman, I impart my lesson through her. She is a teacher who brings my schooling to all who would listen.
1/28/13
PBP: Week 5: C - Compassion
Tying into the post for last week's theme, I'd like to talk about compassion. Compassion means to 'suffer with' another. It has come to be understood as kind acts towards other people (and beings). If you have seen some of my other posts, you will recognize that I feel that kindness is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.
Kindness is not limited to human. Studies have been done and observations have been made that animals exhibit kindness/compassion. At times going outside of their own species.
If we can have compassion seen in the 'lower' animals of the world, then humanity must get over their egoism and extend it to all the world. It doesn't require some sort of grand gesture. It can be as simple as lending a bit of time and willingness to hear another person's story. It can be picking up refuse that is left along the roadside. It can be pulling weeds from a flowerbed or making a feral cat shelter from spare materials.
I sincerely believe that each act of kindness is blessed.
Kindness is not limited to human. Studies have been done and observations have been made that animals exhibit kindness/compassion. At times going outside of their own species.
- Moko the dolphin saves two pygmy whales
- Dolphins work together to prevent an injured companion from drowning.
- Rats feel empathy and will act to aid companion rats
If we can have compassion seen in the 'lower' animals of the world, then humanity must get over their egoism and extend it to all the world. It doesn't require some sort of grand gesture. It can be as simple as lending a bit of time and willingness to hear another person's story. It can be picking up refuse that is left along the roadside. It can be pulling weeds from a flowerbed or making a feral cat shelter from spare materials.
I sincerely believe that each act of kindness is blessed.
PBP: Week 4, B - Beautiful
Beauty can be seen in many places. People forget, however, that their perspective of beauty is not the absolute. One could wax on and on about what is beautiful and what is not, in their own perspective. It is my opinion that to the gods we are ALL beautiful. All that exists, down to the most miniscule and grotesque thing, is beautiful in their eyes. Because what is existence if not their beloved children. We should keep this little thought in mind as we go through our world. Find beauty where it lies, treasure it, and realized that all are beloved.
1/26/13
First Ritual of the Year
Full Ice Moon (Age: 14 days)
Sign: Cancer
Weather: Some lake effect, high clouds,
Weather: Some lake effect, high clouds,
and bitter cold
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a very simple little ritual with the boys. I took a birthday cake candle and put it in its own special holder. I then lit it. I brought it before the boys and told them that this was their wishing candle. And that they were to make a wish before blowing it out. After they blew the candle out, I put it on the altar and explained that their wish may come true by the next full moon. They were excited about that. They told me that their wishes were to get trains and to watch trains. Two very easy things for a crafty witchy Mom to make happen.
That business done, I put a few offerings up for the gods, the wights, and the dead. I also am using our oil diffuser to put a bit of rose essential oil into the air. I put the statuary back on the altar. It looks a bit more crowded now, but it feels more correct. Tomorrow, I will put the offerings outside in a hidden spot.
I hope that the gods, the wights, and the dead enjoy my offerings tonight. It was a bit of special fudge that I bought at the store to treat myself and some vodka. I plan on making another bottle of infused vodka over the next few months. I think I know what I'm going to infuse into it. I received a box of oranges from my maternal grandmother this week. I think I am going to take the peel from some of the oranges and use that to make orange infused vodka.
I think it will make something nice to give in offering. I have a jar of boozy peaches that I am considering decanting some of the liquor off to use for offerings. Again, I'm not entirely decided on how to approach that. I feel the urge to do more baking. I think when February's full moon comes, we'll do something with cakes and juice. If I do it right, I can ease the boys into a full ritual, possibly by the time Litha comes.
1/21/13
Entitlement.
Waxing Ice Moon ( 9 Days old)
Sign: Taurus
Weather: exceptionally cold (arctic temps),
overcast with moderate lake effect
I am going to do something that I don't usually do here and talk a bit about a social problem that pops up everywhere of late it seems. If you listen to the politicians and their associated talking heads, you have a lot of nattering on about people who have an entitlement attitude. If you listen to the social commentators around, they go on about how people 'deserve' things. And then you have the endless advertisements that go on about stuff like 'get the credit you deserve'. There's also the subtle version of that 'get what you really wanted.'
Entitlement has several definitions. I'd like to think that the politicians are talking strictly about that third definition that has to do with benefits from government programs. I get the terrible feeling that they are actually talking about one having grounds to make claim of something. And that all of the arguments are over what people seem to opine are the legitimacy of others to things. Throw in a bit of confusion over what precisely those 'things' are and some sloppy word play... Well, you wind up with a mess.
I'm going to play out here an idea. If you agree with me, let me know. If you disagree, let me know. I would be *really* excited to see some discussion going on in the comments. :)
My idea:
What all people have a legitimate claim to (regardless of race, age, social status, nationality, creed, or any other distinguishing factors)
- To live unmolested and in a fashion that is conducive to their well being
- To have access to clean water, food, shelter, and other basic necessities of life
- To be able to raise their children in accordance with their beliefs (whilst adhering to points number one and two in the case of their dependents)
- To practice their chosen belief system (whilst adhering to prior points in all interactions with others)
- To have free expression of their thoughts via what ever medium they wish to exercise (while... you know)
- To have freedom of thought wherein they are not punished or penalized for their ideas, beliefs, or other thoughts even if they go against the majority - a person's mind is their kingdom and sacred ground that must be respected for it is the source of all autonomy
Here's what I think is not on the list:
- A big house, fancy cars, or other trappings of wealth. Nice to have but you earn them and create them.
- Power over other people. Dependents are a trust that belongs to future generations. They must be handled with care and dignity, for you are literally shaping the future in how you treat them.
1/18/13
PBP 2013: wk 3: B - Blessing
Blessings are not always the wonderful flowery things that people describe. Sometimes it is a roof over head, food in the belly, and dry clothes to wear. Sometimes it is a fire to drive back the cold. Sometimes it is have all the fingers and toes you were born with. And sometimes it is having a prosthetic to replace the ones that you lost.
Blessings are easy to find if you keep a grateful heart.
Blessings are easy to find if you keep a grateful heart.
1/14/13
New Moon, new altar.
Waxing Moon (3 Days)
Sign: Pisces
Weather: Unusually warm, cloudy skies with threat of rain
~*~*~*~*~*~
A decision that I made is to observe the new moon by reshuffling my altar. It is my goal to keep up with this for every new moon as part of my effort to get back to being more consistent in my ritual observances. I still have a fair amount of my altar furnishings put away. This slick, trimmed back altar is a function of necessity rather then desire.
My children are fascinated with the altar and have decided it would be a lovely thing to play with. I'm still in the midst of teaching them what it means. I think it's going to be a few months before they've figured out enough not to play with it.
That said, here is January's New Moon Altar pic!
Loki said he wanted one of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that I was having for lunch, so I gave him one. In the cup is the last of my Jameson whiskey. The little boat figurine is for Narvi. The crochet baggie beside it holds some other small offerings for Loki. In the silver bowl is a stone with a drawing on it that I am giving to the gods. Before the boat figurine is a stone that Cuddle Bear decided he was going to give to the gods. Away as the far left of the picture is one other offering that I honestly don't know what to do with it now. I made a crochet rose for Dea.
As I give more offering that are less food oriented or easily scattered for the wildlife, I don't know what I am going to do with it. I am considering a box for those things to go into. I don't know if that would be appropriate or not. I am sure that the gods will let me know how they want me to handle these things.
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