5/18/15

Letters to Loki # 22

Dear Loki,

I have been giving some thought to what you've suggested. I honestly don't feel like I'm up for the task. Still, you, Freyr, and Odin are all of a mind that I can get three books written by the end of summer. I am going to give it my best effort. Thinking about summer has me really intimidated. My mental health hasn't been all that great over the last few months and I'm reluctant to say that the medication adjustment has resolved everything. I feel like I can't fully trust it. The last medication adjustment only lasted a few months before it started to lose effectiveness.

This whole business with my mental health has been really frustrating. You've been really awesome about helping me keep my proverbial shit together. I really appreciate it. The fact that you have helped me calm down in the midst of a panic attack is solid gold. I will confess, it was eerie to go from panic to complete calm with out dissociating. It was like some switch in my head got flipped and I suddenly gave no fucks whatsoever about being in that crowded location. Freyr suggests that I can learn that skill. I have been kinda confused by this. But, I've been talking with Odin, as you have encouraged, and doing the exercises he gave me.

Speaking of exercise, I've been more active about physical exercise. I am pleased to report that I walked 2.5 miles today despite my knees giving me a lot of trouble. I'm paying for it somewhat by how much they're aching right now, but it will pass. I am at something of a loss for yoga. I know that you think it would be really awesome for me. I think you may have a point and it would probably be easier on me then aggressive strength training or running (which always comes to mind when I think about exercise for some reason). I could come up with a dozen excuses for why I am not doing it but, honestly, I am intimidated by it. Your arguments that it would improve my sex life hasn't exactly helped make the prospect less intimidating, by the way.

I have been getting more spinning related stuff done. Last week I washed up about a pound of wool. I need to card or comb it before I can spin it. I don't think I did stuff right in washing the brown colored wool in the batch of samples. I didn't handle it very much (really, I didn't handle it at all) but somehow it seems a bit felted. I am coming down the home stretch with the dark blue silk that I have been spinning. I will be taking a break from spinning silk to get some of that batt of raspberry colored wool spun. That idea you had for how to improve my homemade distaff was brilliant. It is working out really well. Thanks again for the suggestion. It never would have occurred to me to try putting one of the drawer pulls I had been using to make little drop spindles on the end of the stick. And the wood glue seems to be holding really well.

I am running out of coherent things to write and Thor is on his way through. I'm hoping the thunder storm will knock some of the humidity out of the air. It's hard enough to sleep with my chronic nightmares. This sticky, hot, and humid weather isn't exactly making that easier either. The front is supposed to pass through tonight and we'll be in the 60s tomorrow. I hope it doesn't cause any problems for Snuggle Bug's school field trip tomorrow. I'll catch up with you again soon. Give my love to Sigyn.

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