Letters to Loki # 25

Hi there Loki,

I'm not sure what to write this week. I'm still struggling with my food issues. It's been hard to make myself eat when I don't feel like I should be. I, however, have been listening to Freyr when he nudges me to get something in me and eating what he suggests. I feel ashamed that I'm having problems with this again. I honestly thought that it was all done and over with. But, I guess, it is a fool who thinks they've conquered everything.

I'm almost finished spinning this latest bit of silk. After this, I'm going to take a break from it. I'm glad that I've got a distaff because the way the weather has been, I'm pretty sure my hands would sweat handling wool. I thought it would be good to make something pretty with it but I honestly have no idea. I picked up a book on Tunisian crochet. It's given me some good ideas for Yule gifts. I also think I'm going to run with your suggestion of beaded stitch markers for my MiL. I don't think, however, skulls are quite her style. I will, though, make that set and probably keep 'em for me.

Your idea for how to fix that bracelet was genius. I can actually wear it now. I was afraid that I'd have to take it apart but you gave me just the right tips for how to fix it. I don't know if it is going to replace my grounding bracelet. I think that it will become a regular favorite, though. That fix seems sturdy enough to stand up to the daily tasks of running the household. It does not, however, make a good wrist distaff.

I am looking at my various writing projects and feeling at something of a loss for where to begin. I appreciate that you and the other two are all telling me to start with what feels right. It's just hard for me to figure out just what that is. My regular blogging efforts are helping to some extent to keep me mentally sharp. I think that writing in my therapy journal is helping me deal with some pretty awful memories. But, I am at a loss for which book to work on. You three told me I need to write three books this summer. It would be kinda nice for at least one of you point me at what I should be working on.

I've been going for walks with Freyr. I think I'm starting to get past the stammer like an idiot thing. I still find myself awestruck by Freya. I know you tell me that I will get used to her. I honestly question that. I am getting the impression, however, that they are a packaged deal. That kind of intimidates me. But, you say it's good for me to take on things that intimidate me. So, I'm forging forward. But I feel like a blithering idiot right now. At least, when I'm dealing with both of them at the same time. They kind of amplify each other or something. That is not easy to get used to. Gerda pretty much laughs and tells me that I'm adorable.

Why is it that every jotun I encounter tells me that I'm adorable? EVERY SINGLE ONE! It's driving me batty. And I know that you're probably rolling on the floor with laughter over this as I speak.

I'll be giving you and Odin that whiskey. I had hoped to share it with you but my medications are telling me NOPE. I am not, by the way, going to light it on fire. As cool as that might look, I don't think it would be practical or safe. The back deck being made out of WOOD and all that. Somedays, I seriously think I should start calling you Trogdor. Then I realize it would turn into something completely off the wall wacky. So I don't. But I'm letting you know, I regularly think about it.

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