Letters to Loki # 28

Dear Sly One,

My eldest tried to pull a fast one on me. It is not working out how he anticipated. I am torn between amusement with his frustration with the situation and annoyance with the situation. I am working to focus more on the humor of it all. His attempt to stay home from school 'sick' and miraculously be well after the bus left has netted him a day of being forced to rest or get in trouble for lying about being sick. Right now, he is laying in his bed staring at me. It's almost 10 am and there has been about 8 times now that he has asked if it is lunch time. He is bored, which is according to plan.

I have been working on all my blog posts and feeling like I am not going to get everything caught up. It is a frustrating feeling. I wish that there were more hours in the day or something. I have a pile of housework to catch up on and bills to pay. I can't just sit here and focus on writing all day. I suppose that is part of the price of being an adult. I am glad, however, that I have gone from the horrendous cough and congestion (with a touch of fever and delirium) just a bunch of sinus pressure. I can take Sudafed and get stuff done, rather than be sick in bed like I was all weekend.

It has been difficult to focus on putting aside my anxieties to get stuff done. I have been making the effort. According to Beloved, I am actually making progress. I don't feel like I am, but I guess it is hard to see how many handbags you have made when you're ass deep in alligators. I have caught myself starting to worry about Yule. I don't have as much done as I thought I would by this time. It has forced me to alter some of my plans for gifts and that disappoints me. I guess I am again dealing with setting my expectations too high.

It is a bad habit. I thought I was doing better about it, but I suppose I'm not really. I have been, however, making a point of doing a better job with self-care, like you wanted me to. I kinda cheated on the eating healthy thing for a few weeks. I think I gained back a few pounds but I am not going to twist myself up into knots over it. I am going to do my best to get more exercise done in the house since the weather has gotten colder and I can't really go out for walks like I did when it was warm.

I tried taking a walk at the park by the lake. It was really uncomfortable because of the wind and the chill. My knees have been bothering me a lot. It is kinda funny, but my losing weight has posed a little bit of a problem with my arthritic knees. My knee braces won't stay in place because my legs are smaller now. I've resorted to using my cane more because of it. I am working to keep some amusement over this fact. I am also tempted to bust out the duct tape and wrap the cane in something like zebra print tape so that it doesn't look so boring.

I caught my self looking at sword canes the other day and then I remembered they're illegal in my state. I had a sad after that. I think, however, I am going to get myself a wooden cane at some point in the not too distant future. The aluminum, which I am considering redecorating with patterned duct tape, has started having issues with the part that keeps the two bits together. I almost think that the screw portion of it is getting stripped, which makes no sense because it hasn't been getting moved around a lot. Perhaps it is just shoddy workmanship. It was only $15.

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