Waxing Wolf Moon (Age: 13 Days)
Weather: Mild, partly cloudy, cool front
moving in from the west
I have not been as diligent in updating here as I have been with my other blog. I intend to correct this. While I am probably not going to be updating one to two times every week, I am going to attempt to do so at the very least near the full moon. So much has happened since my last post, I'm not exactly sure where to begin. I find it very... telling that my last entry in here was discussing the Dead.
Aug. 22, 2013, my paternal grandfather died due to complications from his brain cancer. It was near when I did my last post that I saw my grandfather still ambulatory and he had the beginnings of the shroud around him. I knew that he was going to die soon, I just wasn't sure how soon. The night of Aug. 21, I saw Bifrost in the sky. Some people would say that it was nothing more then atmospheric phenomena. I'm sure that Grandpa would have chuckled and said that too.
At the time he died, I looked up at the sky on a pull of intuition and I saw Bifrost again. There were no rain clouds and the apparent rainbow wasn't where it would typically be in the case of a sundog or a halo. When I spoke to my Mom later on the phone, I had chills when she told me what time he died. I find myself curious if I'll be seeing the Rainbow Bridge when it draws close to when my paternal Grandmother or any other relatives die.
Peace is an uneasy thing between my parents and I. We're making an effort. As such, we went to Thanksgiving dinner and had planned to stop by Christmas Eve. That went awry when the kids got sick. I must admit, it is a curious thing. Perhaps it is merely bad timing. But this makes two years in a row that we planned to go and visit my side of the family around Christmas and people got sick at the last minute. (A part of me wonders if they assume that we're just making excuses or not. I try not to perseverate on that overly much.) New Year's eve and day were yet another go-round with everybody being sick at my place. It finally cleared up in time for the kids to go to school.
On the witchery front, things have been fairly quiet due to everything that has been going on. I have done a few hex breakings, a spell to restore lost and stolen goods to their rightful owners, and a few healing spells. I have also been lighting candles for people who have been in need of Divine assistance. Slowly, my little notebook of people I pray for has been growing. I am going to put out a public note (here and elsewhere) that if people would like me to pray for them, they should let me know.
Every Monday, I pray a variant of the Rosary (when I have time or remember). Dea has been forgiving of my difficulties when I am not able to do so. Since Yule, I have been keeping a light on the altar at all times. It's just something that I felt pulled to do. I'm not sure how much longer I should keep doing it. I figure the gods will let me know one way or the other. I keep a light in my little 'hearth' (a soapstone oil burner with an electric votive candle) for Brighid.
I give Loki a cup of coffee just about daily. I am getting over my anxiety about Freyr being interested in me. I have a little portable shrine that I made for him sitting on the altar. I felt like that was something appropriate to do. I have been keeping a little electric candle there too. Freyr has been getting tea. I have been writing for him as well. It's been exceptionally awkward for me to be writing adult literature for him but it seems to be something he appreciates.
At his urging, I have been putting more serious effort into my writing. I have been dedicating the time I put in on that work to him as well. I pledged that from the solstice to the equinox, I would give being one of his 'people' a try. It's nerve wracking but I'm realizing that most of the problem is me proverbially stumbling over my own feet. I feel fortunate that Freyr's response to this has been patience and more then a little bit of good humor. I get the impression that he finds my awkwardness around him endearing.
Dea has ever so quietly been making it know that she wants me to continue my work on the Veiled Witch blog and that my half baked idea of writing another book of prayers (this time being an adaptation of the book of psalms) should be made into a reality. I feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark. It has been a very strange and very challenging last few weeks.
I think that I am in the midst of making strides, though I have no idea where this is all going. The gods just smile at me and the Dead are all being my cheering section. I suppose this is where one takes that step forward in faith and trust that they will be caught as they tumble into the abyss. I hate the sensation of falling but I suppose that is the first step towards learning to fly.