Incubate is an interesting word. It comes from Latin and is used mainly to discuss the development of something. It was originally used to discuss the process of hatching eggs. It's synonyms include the word brood.
Why am I discussing the word incubate? Well, partly because I couldn't think of a good 'i' word. Partly because it is an interesting little concept. Incubation, germination, growth. They're all very powerful concepts. We invoke them regularly. We lie metaphorically in the state of contemplation and consideration of things when we are 'hatching' an idea.
Incubate is a word that was used in the deep past mostly with respect to birds hatching eggs. Birds are almost universally considered 'Air' oriented. They are possessed of the inspiring ability of flight. Their song greets us in the morning and sends off the day at dusk. Ideas are often described as having wings. Thoughts are often described by poets as feathered things that flit and flirt about like their avian counterparts.
It is an interesting little flight of fancy. And it all started with the word incubate. Makes you wonder just how many other things can take wing and become their own song with a little ingenuity and imagination.
4/22/12
Pagan Blog Project: H - Handfasting
Unlike my last Pagan Blog Project entry, I'm not going to get ahead of myself and say that I'll be posting multiple entries. It is my hope to get caught up letter wise and let the blog posting count take care of itself. Life has been really busy of late and I haven't had the opportunity to sit down and post much of anything in any of my blogs. I'm lucky if I get my three pages written in my daily journal. Rambling aside, thank you, dear Reader, for being so patient and waiting for me to post. I deeply appreciate it.
Tonight, I am writing about handfasting. Some traditions call this a 'trial marriage' that is expected to last for a limited period of time. In many ways, it serves the role of engagement. We, however, don't tend to consider such things in our culture at large. Engagement is prelude to marriage and handfasting is largely unknown. In the writings of the early modern witches, handfasting was an obliquely touched upon matter. More emphasis was place upon developing liturgy and defining the relationship between witch and deity.
In my own tradition, handfasting is synonymous with marriage. There is no 'trial' aspect to it. One can have the relationship last for a predetermined period of time (such as the famous 'year and a day' period) or one can leave it as a life long commitment. Or some variation of the above. The important part of handfasting is the fact that these people are entering a solemn commitment to each other, witnessed by the divine and all of life. Oaths (an entirely different topic) are weighty things and when affirmed in such a ceremony, it is my belief that they take on greater importance.
The legal matters of recognizing a handfasting as a marriage, in my opinion, is simply a matter of paperwork. The swearing of oaths and calling upon the divine and all life to witness it is a far greater thing. Such an oath carries a deep karmic impact that can last throughout one's lifetime. It should be approached with great care and consideration. The contract between the ones who are to be wed should be carefully worded with provisions made for future concerns.
When we look at ancient marriage contracts, we find them resembling prenuptial agreements. The union made is built with considerations for offspring, financial matters, and the possible dissolution of the union. I think it is highly important that such considerations return to the discussion of handfasting (and marriages of any sort, even civil/secular ones). As romantic as the idea of 'till death do we part' sounds, there is a greater likelihood of other matters arising and creating a rift in the union. Taking time to plan for how to approach such a possible rift before it happens gives greater peace to the people who are dealing with it.
I have seen too many ugly divorces where people focused more on engaging in emotional warfare then upon peaceably dissolving the contract between them. I've seen too many situations where the children of a now loveless union become pawns in said emotional warfare, leading to deep emotional scars upon everyone involved. (It is my opinion that such behavior is emotional and psychological abuse of the children and should NEVER be tolerated.) Taking the time before one enters into marriage to consider the possible dissolution and how to make it as amicable as possible is not just wise.
It is a statement of love. It is a statement of respect for the people in the marriage and any children who may be born of it. It says 'I care enough about you to provide a respectable means to conclude this union if we find that we can not continue it later.' It is an act of compassion. And it makes me sad to see people who failed to consider such things allow the ugliness of the moment of their divorce burn away the happiness that was there with the memories of their marriage. It is a sorrowful thing and I suspect that their past selves would have been heartbroken and horrified to see it.
Tonight, I am writing about handfasting. Some traditions call this a 'trial marriage' that is expected to last for a limited period of time. In many ways, it serves the role of engagement. We, however, don't tend to consider such things in our culture at large. Engagement is prelude to marriage and handfasting is largely unknown. In the writings of the early modern witches, handfasting was an obliquely touched upon matter. More emphasis was place upon developing liturgy and defining the relationship between witch and deity.
In my own tradition, handfasting is synonymous with marriage. There is no 'trial' aspect to it. One can have the relationship last for a predetermined period of time (such as the famous 'year and a day' period) or one can leave it as a life long commitment. Or some variation of the above. The important part of handfasting is the fact that these people are entering a solemn commitment to each other, witnessed by the divine and all of life. Oaths (an entirely different topic) are weighty things and when affirmed in such a ceremony, it is my belief that they take on greater importance.
The legal matters of recognizing a handfasting as a marriage, in my opinion, is simply a matter of paperwork. The swearing of oaths and calling upon the divine and all life to witness it is a far greater thing. Such an oath carries a deep karmic impact that can last throughout one's lifetime. It should be approached with great care and consideration. The contract between the ones who are to be wed should be carefully worded with provisions made for future concerns.
When we look at ancient marriage contracts, we find them resembling prenuptial agreements. The union made is built with considerations for offspring, financial matters, and the possible dissolution of the union. I think it is highly important that such considerations return to the discussion of handfasting (and marriages of any sort, even civil/secular ones). As romantic as the idea of 'till death do we part' sounds, there is a greater likelihood of other matters arising and creating a rift in the union. Taking time to plan for how to approach such a possible rift before it happens gives greater peace to the people who are dealing with it.
I have seen too many ugly divorces where people focused more on engaging in emotional warfare then upon peaceably dissolving the contract between them. I've seen too many situations where the children of a now loveless union become pawns in said emotional warfare, leading to deep emotional scars upon everyone involved. (It is my opinion that such behavior is emotional and psychological abuse of the children and should NEVER be tolerated.) Taking the time before one enters into marriage to consider the possible dissolution and how to make it as amicable as possible is not just wise.
It is a statement of love. It is a statement of respect for the people in the marriage and any children who may be born of it. It says 'I care enough about you to provide a respectable means to conclude this union if we find that we can not continue it later.' It is an act of compassion. And it makes me sad to see people who failed to consider such things allow the ugliness of the moment of their divorce burn away the happiness that was there with the memories of their marriage. It is a sorrowful thing and I suspect that their past selves would have been heartbroken and horrified to see it.
4/14/12
Weaving, spinning, and purging poisons.
Waning Worm Moon (Age: 23 days)
Sign: Aquarius
Weather: cloudy, warm, with rain expected later
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
For a few days now, I have been having dreams of Sigyn. Some of them are very straight forward and have content that I am not permitted to share except with a very small number of people. And in these dreams, Sigyn has given me work to do.She wants me to continue my efforts to get better at spinning. She has told me that this is to be an important part of my life as time progresses forward. Sigyn has told me that I must learn to be better at weaving. I will be making something for her, though she hasn't told me what. And then there is the third task that I was given in my dreams last night.
In my dream, Sigyn placed a small stone bowl in my hand. She told me that I was to fill it with poisons. I was confused and she clarified. All of the unhealthful thinking and habits that I have acquired are to be purged. I don't know how I will fill this bowl and it seems terribly small for such a large task. Sigyn tells me that I will receive the physical vessel soon. The substitute vessel needs to be something strong and has the capacity to contain magic.
I suspect that this may be one of the tiny ritual cauldrons that I own. I'm not entirely sure how comfortable I am with this process. It is, however, one of the ones that has been set before me to do as a priestess. I don't know if I am supposed to write things down on slips of paper or impress the psychic energy of the thought into a stone and place it in the bowl. Sigyn hasn't answered me on this one. I think that's because she is confident that I will figure out the best method for me to use.
I may, in the midst of this, restart my worry jar. I had one at one point. Somewhere in the midst of the last move it went missing. Oddly enough, I don't even remember what was in that jar. So, I guess it did it's thing. Right now, I just feel a powerful call to go out for a walk. Maybe, I'll do just that. It's not a bad way to end the evening.
4/7/12
Pagan Blog Project: G - Goddess Centered Life Goals
I'm going to type up two 'G' entries tonight. To my readers, I apologize that I forgot to post on this last week. I've been running in circles trying to keep up with the kids. I must first make a confession before I proceed to write upon this topic. I am not very good at keeping focus upon the Goddess. I've had many traumatic experiences revolving around maternal influences that make it very challenging for me to engage the Goddess on a deep level. Please forgive if any of this sounds awkward. I am foraging ahead on some new (to me) ground here.
It may be a mouthful but 'Goddess Centered Life Goals' is actually a new focus of mine. In some ways it is a return to a previous position with deeper self knowledge. When I was a neophyte, I was exceptionally starry eyed about the idea of a deity that had some kind of resemblance to myself. As I moved from soft polytheism into harder polytheism, I moved away from the Great Goddess of Wicca and into more focused relationships with specific deities. I'm not saying that one was better then the other, it was just what happened.
After Samhain last year, I realized that I needed to built up my relationship with the Great Goddess. It was then that I sat down and looked at some of my life goals. How can these life goals be viewed in the context of my relationship with the Goddess? It was a question that felt strange and uncomfortable. I kept asking myself until I began to sense I had some kind of an answer. (Relentless self-examination is always part of the key to personal gnosis, in my opinion.)
I looked at myself and where I stand in this journey called my life. I saw that my faith played a very large role. I saw that my life as a mother was extremely important. My life as a wife and helpmate was extremely important. And it suddenly occurred to me, this is part of how the Great Goddess manifests. It was profound in its simplicity.
Then I went back to the myths that formed the framework of the Wiccan relationship with the Great Goddess. I studied them and looked at my life. I asked myself, how can I understand my life in terms of the mythology of the Great Goddess? I asked, what is the way that the Great Goddess has manifested in me?
I'll be honest, I don't have answers to those questions. I'm still doing research and engaged in contemplation on the matter. I think, however, that as I consider my relationship with the Great Goddess it will be come clear to me just how I am one of her faces. And I think that it will not only manifest itself in my life goals but in my relationships. And I think that it will be incredibly empowering when it happens.
Until then, however, I'll do as the Buddhist monk: chop wood and carry water.
It may be a mouthful but 'Goddess Centered Life Goals' is actually a new focus of mine. In some ways it is a return to a previous position with deeper self knowledge. When I was a neophyte, I was exceptionally starry eyed about the idea of a deity that had some kind of resemblance to myself. As I moved from soft polytheism into harder polytheism, I moved away from the Great Goddess of Wicca and into more focused relationships with specific deities. I'm not saying that one was better then the other, it was just what happened.
After Samhain last year, I realized that I needed to built up my relationship with the Great Goddess. It was then that I sat down and looked at some of my life goals. How can these life goals be viewed in the context of my relationship with the Goddess? It was a question that felt strange and uncomfortable. I kept asking myself until I began to sense I had some kind of an answer. (Relentless self-examination is always part of the key to personal gnosis, in my opinion.)
I looked at myself and where I stand in this journey called my life. I saw that my faith played a very large role. I saw that my life as a mother was extremely important. My life as a wife and helpmate was extremely important. And it suddenly occurred to me, this is part of how the Great Goddess manifests. It was profound in its simplicity.
Then I went back to the myths that formed the framework of the Wiccan relationship with the Great Goddess. I studied them and looked at my life. I asked myself, how can I understand my life in terms of the mythology of the Great Goddess? I asked, what is the way that the Great Goddess has manifested in me?
I'll be honest, I don't have answers to those questions. I'm still doing research and engaged in contemplation on the matter. I think, however, that as I consider my relationship with the Great Goddess it will be come clear to me just how I am one of her faces. And I think that it will not only manifest itself in my life goals but in my relationships. And I think that it will be incredibly empowering when it happens.
Until then, however, I'll do as the Buddhist monk: chop wood and carry water.
4/1/12
Plant magic & gardening
Waxing Gibbous Worm Moon (Age: 9 days)
Sign: Leo
Weather: Cloudy, cold and light breezes
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I have started my gardening efforts a tad early. As a result, I recycled several plastic bottles to serve as mini-greenhouses during this cold snap. It is my hope that they did what I needed them to and helped my seedlings survive. Much of what I have planted so far hasn't been with emphasis upon magical uses. It has been more to accommodate the growing conditions and my deep desire to have flowers. While there is nothing wrong with this emphasis, I am going to transition my next plans for planting more along the magical, medicinal, and edible lines.Sign: Leo
Weather: Cloudy, cold and light breezes
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
There will be a large circular bed that I will be planting soon. I need to thin out a flowerbed that is overstuffed with day lilies and I think I will be taking the square area that is filled with stone and putting something there that is pleasant and can bear partial to deep shade. I have a good deal of plants in pots and there will be many more.
In my efforts, I hope to have some sort of way to encourage my children to get excited about gardening. I may be putting aside a pot of soil just for them. I'm still considering my options. My youngest is 2 1/2 years old so he's not going to be as focused on the new experience as his 4 1/2 years old brother. Either way, however, I want them to learn that plants are also living creatures that we should be respectful of. I really don't like how the other children that they play with wantonly rip leaves and twigs off of plants.
Speaking of twigs, it is my hope that the maple twig that I have in a vase of water will put out some roots. If I am lucky and can get it to do so, I will be putting it into a nice little pot and keeping it in the house. I love the idea of growing a tree. And it is my hope that our next move will be to a place where we can 'put down roots'. My dream is to do so by planting a few trees to grow with our family in our permanent home.
I know that plenty of people live in apartments and are quite happy with them. It has always been my dream to have a house with a big yard and a garden. As part of my efforts to support this dream, I am going to attempt to coax this twig into rooting and putting it into a pot. There's lots of people who have grown trees in pots. I like the idea of doing so until we have ourselves a house with a bit of property.
I think that my garden and plants will reflect the health of my home. As such, caring for them is a manifestation of how I am caring for my family. And where some people call their pets their 'fur babies' I tend to call my plants my 'green babies.' I love the idea that my 'green babies' can grow and bring fulfillment and blessings to my home.
3/25/12
Pagan Blog Project: F - Focus
It may seem a little odd that I am writing about focus or the ability to concentrate intently but it is a really important aspect of my practices. And I believe wholeheartedly that it should be part of the discussion of rituals and all spell craft. It is, as I understand it, part of the fundamental skill set for successful religious practice, regardless of any religion practiced.
I have encountered a lot of neophyte witches and seekers who are very unfocused. They want to learn but are overwhelmed by what is available to them. I have a good friend who is in many ways struggling with this. (Yes, I'm talking about you Teal. :D) It is very important to be able to sit down and concentrate on something that you are working on.
This is seen in education, professional sports, and everything inbetween. In the sphere of the matter of religion, our ability to focus helps us considerably when we go to pray. Prayer has become something of an object of study for me recently. I have been undergoing some learning experiences and finding that my own ability to focus my mind leaves room for improvement. This, however, does not disqualify me from exhorting others to engage in the same work.
Indeed, I suspect it makes me especially well qualified for this discussion. Academics have their own set of exercises to help us learn to control our minds. Different spiritual practices have different techniques for focusing one's thoughts upon points of contemplation. We, as witches and pagans, should devise our own. While there is no harm in using the techniques that have been successful for others, establishing our own set of practices helps to tailor them to our unique needs.
In a perfect world, I think that all religions would have someone available to teach its members how to pray, how to meditate, how to contemplate, and how to step aside and leave matters in the care of the Divine. Sadly, most of us are stumbling around and groping in the proverbial dark to find our way to wisdom. Experience has shown me time and again, that one of the light switches that helps us illuminate our ignorance and reveal the truths buried beneath it is our ability to focus our minds.
That, however, is my opinion.
I have encountered a lot of neophyte witches and seekers who are very unfocused. They want to learn but are overwhelmed by what is available to them. I have a good friend who is in many ways struggling with this. (Yes, I'm talking about you Teal. :D) It is very important to be able to sit down and concentrate on something that you are working on.
This is seen in education, professional sports, and everything inbetween. In the sphere of the matter of religion, our ability to focus helps us considerably when we go to pray. Prayer has become something of an object of study for me recently. I have been undergoing some learning experiences and finding that my own ability to focus my mind leaves room for improvement. This, however, does not disqualify me from exhorting others to engage in the same work.
Indeed, I suspect it makes me especially well qualified for this discussion. Academics have their own set of exercises to help us learn to control our minds. Different spiritual practices have different techniques for focusing one's thoughts upon points of contemplation. We, as witches and pagans, should devise our own. While there is no harm in using the techniques that have been successful for others, establishing our own set of practices helps to tailor them to our unique needs.
In a perfect world, I think that all religions would have someone available to teach its members how to pray, how to meditate, how to contemplate, and how to step aside and leave matters in the care of the Divine. Sadly, most of us are stumbling around and groping in the proverbial dark to find our way to wisdom. Experience has shown me time and again, that one of the light switches that helps us illuminate our ignorance and reveal the truths buried beneath it is our ability to focus our minds.
That, however, is my opinion.
3/20/12
Blogs of interest
Waning Sap Moon (Age: 27 days)
Sign: Pisces
Weather: Fair skies & unseasonably warm
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Sign: Pisces
Weather: Fair skies & unseasonably warm
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm starting a list of blogs that I follow in case anyone who reads this wants to know who's work I am reading currently. If your blog is on the list and you want it taken off, let me know. This post will be getting updated as I add other blogs to the list.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Witchin' in the Kitchen
(who has a pashmina give away going on, so go check it out!)
The Fruit of Pain
Looking Up at the Clouds
Tealights in the Dark
(who I really hope will be updating soon, I really enjoy their writing style)
The Iconoclastic Domina
Loki's Bruid
Gangleri's Grove
(who has a pashmina give away going on, so go check it out!)
The Fruit of Pain
Looking Up at the Clouds
Tealights in the Dark
(who I really hope will be updating soon, I really enjoy their writing style)
The Iconoclastic Domina
Loki's Bruid
Gangleri's Grove
~*~*~*~*~*~
I'll be adding more as I encounter them upon the interwebz.
I'll be adding more as I encounter them upon the interwebz.
3/18/12
Pagan Blog Project: F - Flamehair
Hail Flamehair!
Some people don't give you enough credit. You are the embodiment of entropy. People like to say that you're 'just chaos' and fail to consider the fact that with out chaos the universe would not exist.
There's a lot more to you then that, but this is all I can think of right now. My children have rather sapped my brain.
Some people don't give you enough credit. You are the embodiment of entropy. People like to say that you're 'just chaos' and fail to consider the fact that with out chaos the universe would not exist.
There's a lot more to you then that, but this is all I can think of right now. My children have rather sapped my brain.
3/10/12
Pagan Blog Project: E - Elves
Waning Gibbous Sap Moon (Age: 17 days)
Sign: Libra
Weather: Clear, seasonable & light breeze from the west
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ah, elves. Also known as fairies, the good folk, the fair ones, and pixies (to name a few). These nature spirits are known throughout the world by different names and are of as wide of a range of personalities as people. Most of the people that I know who are not pagan tend to view elves as the quaint diminutive servants of Santa Claus. Others who are a bit more bookish will think of Tolkien's elves. If I'm lucky, I run into some folks who are mythology geeks and are familiar with some of the old stories about these interesting spirits. (Alas, I am not as lucky as I wish to be on that front.)
My approach to elves is colored by my spiritual education. I was weaned on the myths of the Nordic people, predominantly those surrounding the Aseir and Jotuns. Usually, the Aseir were presented as the good guys and the Jotuns as the bad guys. Aside from this, we had the stories of the brownies and similar spirits from the British Isles thrown in for good measure. It made for an interesting hodge podge, especially when a dollop of Iriquoi mythology got thrown in.
I approach the elves with caution. The spirits of the land and that which lives upon it can be fickle. They are reluctant to deal with humanity because we have moved our awareness away from being in tune with nature. When you happen to begin interacting with them, strange things start to become common place. Things randomly going missing and then reappearing in odd places becomes normal. Gifts appearing on your doorstep or somewhere else that you regularly frequent, such as the perfect crow's feather or a stone that sits just right in your hand, starts to happen as you pay more attention to the care of the flora and fauna about your home.
As I said at the beginning of that last statement, I approach them with caution. I have no doubt in my mind that these spirits are powerful and have the ability to bless us or curse. I have seen what has come from being on the good side of these ancient beings and what has come from being on the receiving end of their ire. People who are loved by the fair ones seem to have a magic touch with plants and good luck. Those who are scorned watch as their very efforts to coax anything to grow wither on the vine, as though the plant itself has refused that incarnation. Bad luck plagues them and, for the truly despised, it can even manifest as a measure of illness.
The old stories speak of one being 'elf shot' when they are ill for no apparent reason and fail to recover until they have appeased the angry fae. I do not think these are just stories of illnesses that are poorly understood. I believe that buried among those stories of illnesses that were misunderstood there are accurate accounts of people who have been some how cursed by the fair ones. Given that there seem to be more accounts of people who have some how angered the fair folk then of people who have been some how blessed by them, I suspect that the fair ones are not as prone to tolerating human nonsense as certain Victorian authors would have us believe.
Do I have a relationship with the fae? Yes and I work very hard to make sure it is a good one. In part because I value their friendship and have found their company pleasant. The fae are very wise and can teach us a great deal if we are truly willing to learn from them. And, I admit, a fair dose of superstition has me cautious in my dealings with them. That, however, is part of how I was raised to approach them.
Our cultural background colors a great deal of how we interact with the local nature spirits. Some people talk of how hobgoblins and nixies seemed to have emigrated with the Scots, or other spirits with different nationalities. I'm not sure if it is because some truly did emigrate with families or if that was how those people understood the spirits they encountered.
Sign: Libra
Weather: Clear, seasonable & light breeze from the west
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ah, elves. Also known as fairies, the good folk, the fair ones, and pixies (to name a few). These nature spirits are known throughout the world by different names and are of as wide of a range of personalities as people. Most of the people that I know who are not pagan tend to view elves as the quaint diminutive servants of Santa Claus. Others who are a bit more bookish will think of Tolkien's elves. If I'm lucky, I run into some folks who are mythology geeks and are familiar with some of the old stories about these interesting spirits. (Alas, I am not as lucky as I wish to be on that front.)
My approach to elves is colored by my spiritual education. I was weaned on the myths of the Nordic people, predominantly those surrounding the Aseir and Jotuns. Usually, the Aseir were presented as the good guys and the Jotuns as the bad guys. Aside from this, we had the stories of the brownies and similar spirits from the British Isles thrown in for good measure. It made for an interesting hodge podge, especially when a dollop of Iriquoi mythology got thrown in.
I approach the elves with caution. The spirits of the land and that which lives upon it can be fickle. They are reluctant to deal with humanity because we have moved our awareness away from being in tune with nature. When you happen to begin interacting with them, strange things start to become common place. Things randomly going missing and then reappearing in odd places becomes normal. Gifts appearing on your doorstep or somewhere else that you regularly frequent, such as the perfect crow's feather or a stone that sits just right in your hand, starts to happen as you pay more attention to the care of the flora and fauna about your home.
As I said at the beginning of that last statement, I approach them with caution. I have no doubt in my mind that these spirits are powerful and have the ability to bless us or curse. I have seen what has come from being on the good side of these ancient beings and what has come from being on the receiving end of their ire. People who are loved by the fair ones seem to have a magic touch with plants and good luck. Those who are scorned watch as their very efforts to coax anything to grow wither on the vine, as though the plant itself has refused that incarnation. Bad luck plagues them and, for the truly despised, it can even manifest as a measure of illness.
The old stories speak of one being 'elf shot' when they are ill for no apparent reason and fail to recover until they have appeased the angry fae. I do not think these are just stories of illnesses that are poorly understood. I believe that buried among those stories of illnesses that were misunderstood there are accurate accounts of people who have been some how cursed by the fair ones. Given that there seem to be more accounts of people who have some how angered the fair folk then of people who have been some how blessed by them, I suspect that the fair ones are not as prone to tolerating human nonsense as certain Victorian authors would have us believe.
Do I have a relationship with the fae? Yes and I work very hard to make sure it is a good one. In part because I value their friendship and have found their company pleasant. The fae are very wise and can teach us a great deal if we are truly willing to learn from them. And, I admit, a fair dose of superstition has me cautious in my dealings with them. That, however, is part of how I was raised to approach them.
Our cultural background colors a great deal of how we interact with the local nature spirits. Some people talk of how hobgoblins and nixies seemed to have emigrated with the Scots, or other spirits with different nationalities. I'm not sure if it is because some truly did emigrate with families or if that was how those people understood the spirits they encountered.
3/6/12
Hail Flame Hair! Hail Scar Lip! Hail Loki!
Waxing (almost full :D ) Sap Moon (Age: 12 days)
Sign: Leo (soon to be void of course)
Weather: fair skies, mild
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I am positively giddy right now. After several days of spinning my wheels on what to do in contacting Loki, some excellent advice/instruction from ArtCat, and my picking up the pen again in His honor, Loki gave me a distinct message today.
He told me he wanted some cheap whiskey and onion rings. I don't claim to understand that but I am thrilled. I had missed his snarky comments and droll observations about things in my life. It was a palpable ache and rather distressing. It was, in short, excruciating.
Throw on top of that I had been having a bad couple of days in the more mundane sense, I was rather miserable. So, upon ArtCat's advice, I had taken up the pen and started writing in the devotional journal that I started a few months ago at Lopt's urging. I let my ego get in the way of that work. As ArtCat so excellently pointed out, I fell into the trap of treating Loki like Odin. As a result, I got the silent treatment.
As I was writing in the journal, I suddenly found Loki at my side. He was looking at me with a mildly exasperated look when I paused and muttered that I didn't like what I was writing. I then sighed and reminded myself that criticism such as that is more like Odin then Loki and I need to be more tolerant of myself. I actually said out loud "Stop thinking like Odin."
Loki laughed at that. All out belly laugh. I didn't think I was being hilarious but everyone tells me that when I'm exasperated, especially with myself, I am drop dead funny. Scar Lip seemed to think so. He then told me to write what he said. It was an odd experience to write out both sides of a conversation with him. I'm so used to just talking to him.
Flame Hair (who just giggled at my typo of 'Flamer,' I think he may not be sober right now, I honestly don't know) said that I needed to have reminders of our conversations. I guess that's what I'll be writing down in the journal for now. I've decided to stop trying to fight it. I'll just write what ever he puts in my head.
I still feel really self conscious that he wants me to write about the ugly things in my past. That, of course, is why he wants me to write it. He still wants me to get to know Sygyn. He insists it is good for me to know her. Loki really wants me to get past my fear and I think it's really great that I've got his support. (Who can't argue that you've got a really awesome supporter when a deity is in your cheering section? Certainly not I.)
It's funny in that unfunny way that he's being so patient with me as I try to sort out the psychological baggage and trauma. I get the distinct impression that he is, to some extent, handling me with kid gloves. I feel a bit embarrassed by it. He, however, doesn't care if I'm embarrassed or not. Loki does what Loki does, damn who ever the hell gets in his way. So, when I go 'but I feel stupid' he gives me a pat on the head and a look like what you give a child who so totally doesn't have a clue and are really struggling in their efforts to understand.
Did I mention this is a hit to the ego? Yeah, he kinda laughs at that too. Tells me that I'm not some scary monster and to stop feeling like I am. It gets awkward at times. When the Father of Monsters tells you that you're not a monster... you wonder is it a compliment, rebuke, or statement of fact. Given that I'm getting an annoyed look right now, I'm guessing it's a statement of fact.
Ah well, somedays I guess I'm more dense then I am on others. Still, Loki is talking to me again!
Sign: Leo (soon to be void of course)
Weather: fair skies, mild
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I am positively giddy right now. After several days of spinning my wheels on what to do in contacting Loki, some excellent advice/instruction from ArtCat, and my picking up the pen again in His honor, Loki gave me a distinct message today.
He told me he wanted some cheap whiskey and onion rings. I don't claim to understand that but I am thrilled. I had missed his snarky comments and droll observations about things in my life. It was a palpable ache and rather distressing. It was, in short, excruciating.
Throw on top of that I had been having a bad couple of days in the more mundane sense, I was rather miserable. So, upon ArtCat's advice, I had taken up the pen and started writing in the devotional journal that I started a few months ago at Lopt's urging. I let my ego get in the way of that work. As ArtCat so excellently pointed out, I fell into the trap of treating Loki like Odin. As a result, I got the silent treatment.
As I was writing in the journal, I suddenly found Loki at my side. He was looking at me with a mildly exasperated look when I paused and muttered that I didn't like what I was writing. I then sighed and reminded myself that criticism such as that is more like Odin then Loki and I need to be more tolerant of myself. I actually said out loud "Stop thinking like Odin."
Loki laughed at that. All out belly laugh. I didn't think I was being hilarious but everyone tells me that when I'm exasperated, especially with myself, I am drop dead funny. Scar Lip seemed to think so. He then told me to write what he said. It was an odd experience to write out both sides of a conversation with him. I'm so used to just talking to him.
Flame Hair (who just giggled at my typo of 'Flamer,' I think he may not be sober right now, I honestly don't know) said that I needed to have reminders of our conversations. I guess that's what I'll be writing down in the journal for now. I've decided to stop trying to fight it. I'll just write what ever he puts in my head.
I still feel really self conscious that he wants me to write about the ugly things in my past. That, of course, is why he wants me to write it. He still wants me to get to know Sygyn. He insists it is good for me to know her. Loki really wants me to get past my fear and I think it's really great that I've got his support. (Who can't argue that you've got a really awesome supporter when a deity is in your cheering section? Certainly not I.)
It's funny in that unfunny way that he's being so patient with me as I try to sort out the psychological baggage and trauma. I get the distinct impression that he is, to some extent, handling me with kid gloves. I feel a bit embarrassed by it. He, however, doesn't care if I'm embarrassed or not. Loki does what Loki does, damn who ever the hell gets in his way. So, when I go 'but I feel stupid' he gives me a pat on the head and a look like what you give a child who so totally doesn't have a clue and are really struggling in their efforts to understand.
Did I mention this is a hit to the ego? Yeah, he kinda laughs at that too. Tells me that I'm not some scary monster and to stop feeling like I am. It gets awkward at times. When the Father of Monsters tells you that you're not a monster... you wonder is it a compliment, rebuke, or statement of fact. Given that I'm getting an annoyed look right now, I'm guessing it's a statement of fact.
Ah well, somedays I guess I'm more dense then I am on others. Still, Loki is talking to me again!
3/3/12
Psychology vs faith (aka i hate c-PTSD)
Waxing Sap Moon (Age: 9 days)
Sign: Cancer
Weather: Clear, cold & windy
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I sit here at the keyboard chilled in body and mind. The shawl I am wearing may warm me up physically but this psychological chill is harder to shake. I live with a myriad of psychological disorders. Until recently, it seems like they didn't have much of an impact on my faith and how I expressed it. Now that I sit and look at it, however, I must admit that they have run roughshod over an enormous part of my expression and put limitations on how I experience my faith.
For the longest time, the experience of a maternal Goddess was infrequent for me. Not because the Goddess wasn't maternal. It was because I tended to shut down when it happened. I dissociated, at best, or I panicked. Now this has spread to my relationship with Loki. This is very upsetting for me.
Loki is a father figure for me. He's a friend and close companion. To have it happen where I can't cut through the panic to hear his reply when I pray, it scares me. My spirit guides tell me that this is normal for someone who has borne as much trauma as I have. They tell me that this is temporary and it will be relieved soon.
One of the last messages that came clearly from Loki was that I should find someone to act as his mouthpiece. A person to facilitate a conversation between him and I. At the time, I said 'ok.' and then put it on the mental back burner because I was eyeball deep in nonsense with other matters. Now, I sit here and I realize that directive was in preparation for this time.
I don't know how long this is going to be. I hope it'll be only a few days. I didn't realize how much I bantered with him and I had come to depend upon his input until just now. He said it was to be for a conversation. I feel a significant amount of dread right now. I'm fearful that I am going to discover that the Loki I speak to in that conversation is going to be very different from the sarcastic, smartass and sincere Loki that I've come to know. That what I have experienced is not Loki but rather what I wished for Loki to be.
I hate this.
Sign: Cancer
Weather: Clear, cold & windy
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I sit here at the keyboard chilled in body and mind. The shawl I am wearing may warm me up physically but this psychological chill is harder to shake. I live with a myriad of psychological disorders. Until recently, it seems like they didn't have much of an impact on my faith and how I expressed it. Now that I sit and look at it, however, I must admit that they have run roughshod over an enormous part of my expression and put limitations on how I experience my faith.
For the longest time, the experience of a maternal Goddess was infrequent for me. Not because the Goddess wasn't maternal. It was because I tended to shut down when it happened. I dissociated, at best, or I panicked. Now this has spread to my relationship with Loki. This is very upsetting for me.
Loki is a father figure for me. He's a friend and close companion. To have it happen where I can't cut through the panic to hear his reply when I pray, it scares me. My spirit guides tell me that this is normal for someone who has borne as much trauma as I have. They tell me that this is temporary and it will be relieved soon.
One of the last messages that came clearly from Loki was that I should find someone to act as his mouthpiece. A person to facilitate a conversation between him and I. At the time, I said 'ok.' and then put it on the mental back burner because I was eyeball deep in nonsense with other matters. Now, I sit here and I realize that directive was in preparation for this time.
I don't know how long this is going to be. I hope it'll be only a few days. I didn't realize how much I bantered with him and I had come to depend upon his input until just now. He said it was to be for a conversation. I feel a significant amount of dread right now. I'm fearful that I am going to discover that the Loki I speak to in that conversation is going to be very different from the sarcastic, smartass and sincere Loki that I've come to know. That what I have experienced is not Loki but rather what I wished for Loki to be.
I hate this.
Pagan Blog Project: E - Epiphany
Waxing Sap Moon (Age: 9 days)
Sign: Cancer
Weather: Clear, cold & windy
~*~*~*~*~*~
Epiphany is such a delicious word. It is not only the name of a high feast day in the Christian religion, but also the word we use for sudden intuitive understanding. It also is used to denote a manifestation of some sort, most frequently with respect to deity. When I think of this word, I smile. It just rolls off the tongue like a song, in my opinion.
It was an epiphany that lead me to where I am today. Sudden intuitive understanding that I could be far healthier and happier then I ever had been in the past set me on the course of healing the psychological traumas in my past. Visionary trances and similar experiences have happened to me and directed me in my expressions of faith. It is something that I think of and smile.
It is a beautiful experience that I sincerely hope that others may have as well. I can not think of anything more wonderful then a direct experience of the love of one's deity of choice. Every single vision that I have had relating to the gods has been an expression of that love. It is incredibly humbling. It is also so wonderfully beautiful that it literally moves me to tears.
After having the challenges of life leave me jaded, this infusion of wonder is like watching the first buds of green springing up from the earth. It is like the sweet smell of the sap running in the maple tree out in my front yard. It gives me a fresh breath of life and reminds me of all the wonder that is awaiting me.
Sign: Cancer
Weather: Clear, cold & windy
~*~*~*~*~*~
Epiphany is such a delicious word. It is not only the name of a high feast day in the Christian religion, but also the word we use for sudden intuitive understanding. It also is used to denote a manifestation of some sort, most frequently with respect to deity. When I think of this word, I smile. It just rolls off the tongue like a song, in my opinion.
It was an epiphany that lead me to where I am today. Sudden intuitive understanding that I could be far healthier and happier then I ever had been in the past set me on the course of healing the psychological traumas in my past. Visionary trances and similar experiences have happened to me and directed me in my expressions of faith. It is something that I think of and smile.
It is a beautiful experience that I sincerely hope that others may have as well. I can not think of anything more wonderful then a direct experience of the love of one's deity of choice. Every single vision that I have had relating to the gods has been an expression of that love. It is incredibly humbling. It is also so wonderfully beautiful that it literally moves me to tears.
After having the challenges of life leave me jaded, this infusion of wonder is like watching the first buds of green springing up from the earth. It is like the sweet smell of the sap running in the maple tree out in my front yard. It gives me a fresh breath of life and reminds me of all the wonder that is awaiting me.
3/2/12
Domestic Goddess & I
Waxing Sap Moo
n (Age: 8 days)
Sign: Cancer
Weather: Overcast, warm, high winds expected
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Over the last several days, I have been contemplating the idea of the Goddess as a domestic figure. Images throughout history have shown goddess figures engaged in domestic tasks. Indeed it was part of the mythology of the world's cultures to have goddesses who specialized in such things.
With the advent of Christianity, the Blessed Virgin Mary took up the cause of domestic cares in her iconography. Various saints have been ascribed to watch over everything ranging from weaving to house cleaning. Domesticity is nothing new in faith of any sort.
Indeed many images modern such as the one above from Eric Gill and in antiquity have shown this. It is a curious thing, then, that I haven't taken such an idea as a 'domestic Goddess' and incorporated it into the worldview that I work with. As I have made progress in my efforts to recover from psychological trauma, I am discovering aspects of the Goddess that I have neglected to consider in my efforts to flee from those aspects in myself.
It was a rather upsetting realization. I am learning, however, that the Goddess is not troubled by such things. As I learn to connect with her again on an intimate level, I am finding that I feel a strong pull to embrace images such as those of the knitting Madonna and such. It has been a learning experience.
I am finding that such images are becoming foci for meditation. And with meditation upon them, I am discovering aspects of myself that are intimately twined with them. It is as though I have opened Pandora's box to discover that instead of the fabled plagues and evils of the world, it contains treasures and great blessings. So, I am striving to keep the domestic aspect of the Goddess at the forefront of my mind.
It is for this reason why I keep my little wrist distaff and a spindle on my altar. It reminds me of her. It is also part of the reason why I am looking to incorporate a Goddess image into the decor of my kitchen. This way I can look and be reminded of her presence everywhere, including in myself.
n (Age: 8 days)Sign: Cancer
Weather: Overcast, warm, high winds expected
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Over the last several days, I have been contemplating the idea of the Goddess as a domestic figure. Images throughout history have shown goddess figures engaged in domestic tasks. Indeed it was part of the mythology of the world's cultures to have goddesses who specialized in such things.
With the advent of Christianity, the Blessed Virgin Mary took up the cause of domestic cares in her iconography. Various saints have been ascribed to watch over everything ranging from weaving to house cleaning. Domesticity is nothing new in faith of any sort.
Indeed many images modern such as the one above from Eric Gill and in antiquity have shown this. It is a curious thing, then, that I haven't taken such an idea as a 'domestic Goddess' and incorporated it into the worldview that I work with. As I have made progress in my efforts to recover from psychological trauma, I am discovering aspects of the Goddess that I have neglected to consider in my efforts to flee from those aspects in myself.
It was a rather upsetting realization. I am learning, however, that the Goddess is not troubled by such things. As I learn to connect with her again on an intimate level, I am finding that I feel a strong pull to embrace images such as those of the knitting Madonna and such. It has been a learning experience.
I am finding that such images are becoming foci for meditation. And with meditation upon them, I am discovering aspects of myself that are intimately twined with them. It is as though I have opened Pandora's box to discover that instead of the fabled plagues and evils of the world, it contains treasures and great blessings. So, I am striving to keep the domestic aspect of the Goddess at the forefront of my mind.
It is for this reason why I keep my little wrist distaff and a spindle on my altar. It reminds me of her. It is also part of the reason why I am looking to incorporate a Goddess image into the decor of my kitchen. This way I can look and be reminded of her presence everywhere, including in myself.
2/25/12
Pagan Blog Project: D - Dynamics
Waxing Sap Moon (Age: 3 days)
Sign: Aries
Weather: Cold, windy, & light lake effect snow
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I've decided to participate in the Pagan Blog Project. They're working their way through the alphabet two weeks at a time. Currently, this is the second week for the letter 'D'. I'm going to be discussing dynamics.
The word 'dynamic' often brings to mind vitality, activity, and effervescent personalities. It also can be used other fashions. It has also been used colloquially to denote relationship paradigms. It is this colloquial usage that I am referencing. There are many dynamics of this sense in the world. Three big ones that we consider in metaphysics are:
Now, one may wonder why I give consideration to cosmological dynamics. This is a very important part of the worldview of any given belief system. Humanity has questioned the nature of existence for as long as we have had the capacity. As such, we have created stories, theories, and cultural mythos to quantify, define, and explain what we observed. It is from this primeval urge to understand what we interpret from our senses that the foundational elements of religion are formed.
As Joseph Campbell so brilliantly illustrated in his work The Masks of God and as J. G. Frazer detailed in his The Golden Bough, religion arose from stories accepted by a people, then enacted as ritual dramas and shared with other people. These stories defined for the culture they originated in the answers to the philosophical quandaries that fall under the heading of cosmology. In Wicca, we have a patchwork cosmology. Our stories are varied and highly eclectic. Nowhere else is this more visible then in how we delineate our relationship with the divine.
Theology and divinity2 are twin academic pursuits that attempt to describe that relationship. Experiential knowledge of the godhead3 shapes subsequent theology. There are two ways that this knowledge can be accessed. One is by way of personal revelation. The second is by way of analysis and reason.
The major religions of the world are predominantly based in revelatory experiences that happen to a given person (commonly referred to as a prophet) and then disseminated amongst the population of a culture. In the Abrahmic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam), the revelatory experience happens to a patriarch who then shares this with his children. This eventually extends to others who have adopted the belief system. Authenticity of the revelations are based upon comparison to established canon. Disputes as to the veracity of a given revelation are what has given rise to conflict between these related faiths and within each respective belief system4.
Wicca lacks a body of work to be upheld as canon. For some individuals, this is argued to be a weakness of the religion. Quite frequently, these people argue that Wicca as a comparatively young5 religion lacks the validity of history. This argument fails to consider the influence of historical religions upon modern Wicca. Additionally, the cellular6 nature of Wicca places greater emphasis upon the individual's experience versus that of the community. It is this highly individualize nature that makes it difficult to collate and assess the collective knowledge with respect to the nature of the godhead and how man relates to it.
This forces a neonate to adhere to the maxim7 from the perennially popular Charge of the Goddess because they can not rely upon other sources. Covens assist neonates in exploring their relationship with the godhead, but they can not provide full revelation of it. This is a stark difference from religions such as the Abrhamic ones. There, the community at large has defined the collective and individual relationships one has with the godhead. There is a body of work upheld that one can compare their experiences to and thereby attest to the veracity of what they have had revealed to them.
For Wiccans, they must deal with the murky waters between mystical revelation and possible madness. We must continually ask ourselves if we are being genuine in our activities towards the godhead. We must continually assess within ourselves the veracity of what has been revealed to us throughout our mystic experiences. This requires a mature understanding of ourselves and our limitations. It also requires that we be ever honest in our dealings on the theological front. Duplicity serves no good and can quite possibly hinder our efforts to deepen our person gnosis.
This brings me to my third point of consideration, this evening. Interpersonal relationships are tricky things. Throw religion into the mix and they become volatile at times. This is where the other popular maxim8 upheld becomes a useful consideration. Individual freedom is highly prized by Wiccans. This cherished quality does often get a bit of humor when one attempts to organize a group of Wiccans to do something (the phrase 'herding cats' comes to mind). Individual freedom is essential to Wicca. While some would wish to establish some sense of orthodoxy for Wicca, this would deprive this religion of its appeal for a great many of its followers.
The fludity of Wicca allows for this faith to embrace all types of people and all types of worldviews. It is a strength of this faith for it to be so accessible to individuals. For each 'fluffy bunny' that one encounters who seems to espouse random platitudes with a beatific, yet empty smile, there are countless serious practitioners who strive each day to deepen their knowledge of themselves and the world. Paramount to this faith is respect for that individuality that gives Wicca its strength. As such, many Wiccans strive to conduct themselves with utmost respect for each other and all life about them. As a religion that is frequently panenthistic and pantheistic, this is only a natural outgrowth of such worldviews.
At the core of all the dynamics we witness at play in Wicca is this respect. We honor each other, the world, and the godhead. With this, we ensure our continued liberty and growth.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1. I am using the term 'man' in the classical sense of referring to all of humanity. This is simply a matter of convention. No implication of patrifocal leanings are intended.
2. I am using the term 'divinity' to pertain to the study of the applied theology of a given religion. This is a minor departure from the typical usage, which to discuss this academic exercise with strict respect to Christianity.
3. I am using the term 'godhead' as a gender neutral term for the genderless paradoxical All commonly understood as God or Goddess. Aristotle defined this as the Prime Mover.
4. I recognize that there are many other major factors that are at play in the state of affairs between the Abrahamic faiths. For the sake of simplicity, I am focusing only upon this particular aspect.
5. Wicca, from an anthropological perspective, is argued to have arisen in its contemporary format with Gerald Gardner. The existence of the New Forest Coven which the late Mr. Gardner was initiated by has been the subject of some academic debate. This blog's position upon the debate is to withhold supporting either side until evidence is presented to conclusively prove one or the other.
6. Autonomous individual groups (covens) of practitioners operating with only loose social connection to each other.
7. "And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without." (from Reclaiming's website)
8. "An ye harm none, do what thou wilt" ~ proverb
Sign: Aries
Weather: Cold, windy, & light lake effect snow
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I've decided to participate in the Pagan Blog Project. They're working their way through the alphabet two weeks at a time. Currently, this is the second week for the letter 'D'. I'm going to be discussing dynamics.
The word 'dynamic' often brings to mind vitality, activity, and effervescent personalities. It also can be used other fashions. It has also been used colloquially to denote relationship paradigms. It is this colloquial usage that I am referencing. There are many dynamics of this sense in the world. Three big ones that we consider in metaphysics are:
- Cosmological
- Theological
- Interpersonal
Now, one may wonder why I give consideration to cosmological dynamics. This is a very important part of the worldview of any given belief system. Humanity has questioned the nature of existence for as long as we have had the capacity. As such, we have created stories, theories, and cultural mythos to quantify, define, and explain what we observed. It is from this primeval urge to understand what we interpret from our senses that the foundational elements of religion are formed.
As Joseph Campbell so brilliantly illustrated in his work The Masks of God and as J. G. Frazer detailed in his The Golden Bough, religion arose from stories accepted by a people, then enacted as ritual dramas and shared with other people. These stories defined for the culture they originated in the answers to the philosophical quandaries that fall under the heading of cosmology. In Wicca, we have a patchwork cosmology. Our stories are varied and highly eclectic. Nowhere else is this more visible then in how we delineate our relationship with the divine.
Theology and divinity2 are twin academic pursuits that attempt to describe that relationship. Experiential knowledge of the godhead3 shapes subsequent theology. There are two ways that this knowledge can be accessed. One is by way of personal revelation. The second is by way of analysis and reason.
The major religions of the world are predominantly based in revelatory experiences that happen to a given person (commonly referred to as a prophet) and then disseminated amongst the population of a culture. In the Abrahmic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam), the revelatory experience happens to a patriarch who then shares this with his children. This eventually extends to others who have adopted the belief system. Authenticity of the revelations are based upon comparison to established canon. Disputes as to the veracity of a given revelation are what has given rise to conflict between these related faiths and within each respective belief system4.
Wicca lacks a body of work to be upheld as canon. For some individuals, this is argued to be a weakness of the religion. Quite frequently, these people argue that Wicca as a comparatively young5 religion lacks the validity of history. This argument fails to consider the influence of historical religions upon modern Wicca. Additionally, the cellular6 nature of Wicca places greater emphasis upon the individual's experience versus that of the community. It is this highly individualize nature that makes it difficult to collate and assess the collective knowledge with respect to the nature of the godhead and how man relates to it.
This forces a neonate to adhere to the maxim7 from the perennially popular Charge of the Goddess because they can not rely upon other sources. Covens assist neonates in exploring their relationship with the godhead, but they can not provide full revelation of it. This is a stark difference from religions such as the Abrhamic ones. There, the community at large has defined the collective and individual relationships one has with the godhead. There is a body of work upheld that one can compare their experiences to and thereby attest to the veracity of what they have had revealed to them.
For Wiccans, they must deal with the murky waters between mystical revelation and possible madness. We must continually ask ourselves if we are being genuine in our activities towards the godhead. We must continually assess within ourselves the veracity of what has been revealed to us throughout our mystic experiences. This requires a mature understanding of ourselves and our limitations. It also requires that we be ever honest in our dealings on the theological front. Duplicity serves no good and can quite possibly hinder our efforts to deepen our person gnosis.
This brings me to my third point of consideration, this evening. Interpersonal relationships are tricky things. Throw religion into the mix and they become volatile at times. This is where the other popular maxim8 upheld becomes a useful consideration. Individual freedom is highly prized by Wiccans. This cherished quality does often get a bit of humor when one attempts to organize a group of Wiccans to do something (the phrase 'herding cats' comes to mind). Individual freedom is essential to Wicca. While some would wish to establish some sense of orthodoxy for Wicca, this would deprive this religion of its appeal for a great many of its followers.
The fludity of Wicca allows for this faith to embrace all types of people and all types of worldviews. It is a strength of this faith for it to be so accessible to individuals. For each 'fluffy bunny' that one encounters who seems to espouse random platitudes with a beatific, yet empty smile, there are countless serious practitioners who strive each day to deepen their knowledge of themselves and the world. Paramount to this faith is respect for that individuality that gives Wicca its strength. As such, many Wiccans strive to conduct themselves with utmost respect for each other and all life about them. As a religion that is frequently panenthistic and pantheistic, this is only a natural outgrowth of such worldviews.
At the core of all the dynamics we witness at play in Wicca is this respect. We honor each other, the world, and the godhead. With this, we ensure our continued liberty and growth.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
1. I am using the term 'man' in the classical sense of referring to all of humanity. This is simply a matter of convention. No implication of patrifocal leanings are intended.
2. I am using the term 'divinity' to pertain to the study of the applied theology of a given religion. This is a minor departure from the typical usage, which to discuss this academic exercise with strict respect to Christianity.
3. I am using the term 'godhead' as a gender neutral term for the genderless paradoxical All commonly understood as God or Goddess. Aristotle defined this as the Prime Mover.
4. I recognize that there are many other major factors that are at play in the state of affairs between the Abrahamic faiths. For the sake of simplicity, I am focusing only upon this particular aspect.
5. Wicca, from an anthropological perspective, is argued to have arisen in its contemporary format with Gerald Gardner. The existence of the New Forest Coven which the late Mr. Gardner was initiated by has been the subject of some academic debate. This blog's position upon the debate is to withhold supporting either side until evidence is presented to conclusively prove one or the other.
6. Autonomous individual groups (covens) of practitioners operating with only loose social connection to each other.
7. "And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without." (from Reclaiming's website)
8. "An ye harm none, do what thou wilt" ~ proverb
2/13/12
Progressing forward on my path.
Waning Hunger Moon (Age: 20 days)
Sign: Scorpio
Weather: Fair, light breeze, seasonably cold
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I had a conversation with my Aunt, Rev. Wolf this evening. She's a very wise woman and I respect her highly. Like most of our conversations, I came away having learned something new. I also, in the midst of the conversation, had more of the things that I am being called to do clarified.
I am not sure if I am technically a member of the Church of the Ancient Paths. I believe I am, but it is something that will be clarified in the near future over the course of conversations with my Aunt, who is clergy. She's fairly certain that I am considered a member. This is actually an important thing because I have felt called to minister to the needs of the community, thereby serving the Goddess.
It is much easier to do so with the backing of a church. This can be accomplished either as part of an outreach program done by the church or in seeking ordination. It is the latter that I have felt called to for many years. Like in the case of my wearing a veil, I was fearful of doing so because I feared recriminations from my extended family. This, however, is a child's fear and I have put it aside.
In wearing the veil and making the changes to my dress that are in accordance with my genuine nature, I have continued the commitment I made about a month ago. That commitment was to be fully myself. This means not only expressing my personal sense of style and tastes in everything from music to the accessories I wear, but heeding the nature of my spirit and the direction that the Goddess propels me in.
It has been a big step internally. Externally, it has only a small number of changes that can be observed right now. As time passes, I know that more details will be revealed. I am in a state of transition. As I shed the outmoded forms of the past and reveal the brilliant light at the core, I expect some people will be delighted and others will be disturbed. This, however, is not why I am doing this. It is essential to the health of my psyche and spirit.
I'm tired of holding myself back because of what others might think or say. I'm tired of denying these parts of myself because it is not convenient for others. I'm tired of continually holding back my self expression because it is not 'normal' in the eyes of the family I grew up in. It is long past time for me to say "This is who I am. And I am wonderful because of it."
All I ask is that the Goddess grant me strength to continue forward and to break the barriers between myself and what is healthy for me. I've lived in fear for long enough. It is time for a new chapter in my life.
Sign: Scorpio
Weather: Fair, light breeze, seasonably cold
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I had a conversation with my Aunt, Rev. Wolf this evening. She's a very wise woman and I respect her highly. Like most of our conversations, I came away having learned something new. I also, in the midst of the conversation, had more of the things that I am being called to do clarified.
I am not sure if I am technically a member of the Church of the Ancient Paths. I believe I am, but it is something that will be clarified in the near future over the course of conversations with my Aunt, who is clergy. She's fairly certain that I am considered a member. This is actually an important thing because I have felt called to minister to the needs of the community, thereby serving the Goddess.
It is much easier to do so with the backing of a church. This can be accomplished either as part of an outreach program done by the church or in seeking ordination. It is the latter that I have felt called to for many years. Like in the case of my wearing a veil, I was fearful of doing so because I feared recriminations from my extended family. This, however, is a child's fear and I have put it aside.
In wearing the veil and making the changes to my dress that are in accordance with my genuine nature, I have continued the commitment I made about a month ago. That commitment was to be fully myself. This means not only expressing my personal sense of style and tastes in everything from music to the accessories I wear, but heeding the nature of my spirit and the direction that the Goddess propels me in.
It has been a big step internally. Externally, it has only a small number of changes that can be observed right now. As time passes, I know that more details will be revealed. I am in a state of transition. As I shed the outmoded forms of the past and reveal the brilliant light at the core, I expect some people will be delighted and others will be disturbed. This, however, is not why I am doing this. It is essential to the health of my psyche and spirit.
I'm tired of holding myself back because of what others might think or say. I'm tired of denying these parts of myself because it is not convenient for others. I'm tired of continually holding back my self expression because it is not 'normal' in the eyes of the family I grew up in. It is long past time for me to say "This is who I am. And I am wonderful because of it."
All I ask is that the Goddess grant me strength to continue forward and to break the barriers between myself and what is healthy for me. I've lived in fear for long enough. It is time for a new chapter in my life.
2/6/12
Fall & Redemption Theology: My Opinions
Full Hunger Moon (Age: 13 days)
Sign: Leo
Weather: Unseasonably warm, clear
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I've been reading about the modern Collriydian Filianic churches. I figured out what about their theology that doesn't sit right with me. It is their espousal of a fall & redemption theology. It is my understanding that humans are not born with a fatal flaw, which one would argue is the most accurate description of the infamous Original Sin doctrine. Original Sin holds absolutely no place in my understanding of humanity's relationship with the divine.
It is my understanding that we are all born innocent of any crime against nature or the gods. There is no criminality in drawing breath or being born of a given lineage. Arguments that we are all some how criminals (because sin is defined as crimes against god) by virtue of our birth are nonsense because it utterly fails the moral culpability test.
I prefer the idea that we are born in a state of innocence and as we grow, we become capable of establishing a relationship with the divine that is more complex . It is with this increased complexity that rules are laid out for the relationship and sin, the act of breaking said rules, becomes part of the picture.
It would as foolish as someone declaring that a newborn child is guilty of theft because they are breathing 'someone else's air'. No one can claim ownership of the air. It simply is there. It is our nature to breathe. It is a monstrous act of inhumanity to declare that the act of existing is criminal. And it is my understanding that the doctrine of original sin, where ever it is espoused, is criminalizing the act of being alive. I find this disgusting, demeaning, deceptive, and detrimental to establishing a genuine relationship with one's deity of choice.
Sign: Leo
Weather: Unseasonably warm, clear
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I've been reading about the modern Collriydian Filianic churches. I figured out what about their theology that doesn't sit right with me. It is their espousal of a fall & redemption theology. It is my understanding that humans are not born with a fatal flaw, which one would argue is the most accurate description of the infamous Original Sin doctrine. Original Sin holds absolutely no place in my understanding of humanity's relationship with the divine.
It is my understanding that we are all born innocent of any crime against nature or the gods. There is no criminality in drawing breath or being born of a given lineage. Arguments that we are all some how criminals (because sin is defined as crimes against god) by virtue of our birth are nonsense because it utterly fails the moral culpability test.
I prefer the idea that we are born in a state of innocence and as we grow, we become capable of establishing a relationship with the divine that is more complex . It is with this increased complexity that rules are laid out for the relationship and sin, the act of breaking said rules, becomes part of the picture.
It would as foolish as someone declaring that a newborn child is guilty of theft because they are breathing 'someone else's air'. No one can claim ownership of the air. It simply is there. It is our nature to breathe. It is a monstrous act of inhumanity to declare that the act of existing is criminal. And it is my understanding that the doctrine of original sin, where ever it is espoused, is criminalizing the act of being alive. I find this disgusting, demeaning, deceptive, and detrimental to establishing a genuine relationship with one's deity of choice.
2/2/12
Synchronicity or Sign?
Waxing Gibbous Hunger Moon (Age: 9 days)
Sign: Gemini
Weather: cloudy, cool but still unseasonably warm
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My depression is making a comeback. A part of me says I should just chalk this up as a bad day or possibly some sort of premenstrual hormonal fun. Looking at my mood for the last several days, however, I'm finding my temper is growing shorter and my outlook on life is progressively turning bleaker. It is something that bears watching, though I still can't shake the feeling of apprehension that something ... unpleasant is waiting me on the other side of my counseling session tomorrow.Sign: Gemini
Weather: cloudy, cool but still unseasonably warm
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Now, one may wonder why I'm rambling about my psychological health. Two reasons for that, actually, one is because it's part of the constellation of things on my mind right now. Secondly, I am firmly convinced that our psychological health can directly influence our spiritual health. As I was confronted multiple times today with a sense of despair, I found myself questioning the authenticity of my spiritual experiences. It... It is distressing have sudden bouts of despair just descend upon me with out any real warning. It colors my view of just about everything in my life.
Strive as I may to counteract this, it is at times a relatively futile thing to attempt to do. So, I was sitting in the car, waiting to pick up the food that I ordered for Beloved and I to have for dinner when a fortuitous thing happened. Recently, I've taken to listening to the born-again Christian radio station. It's not out of any passionate love for Christ as much as it is less static then other stations and occasionally entertaining. As it happened, this was the radio station that the car was tuned to. I wasn't paying it much mind when the pastor speaking began talking about discouragement.
It was surprising. His teaching on discouragement was quite coincidental and focused upon an entirely different audience. At the same time, I found it to be helpful. I realized that in the midst of my efforts over the last several weeks, I had been becoming discouraged in several areas. Partly due to a measure of psychological/emotional exhaustion and partly due to my difficulty seeing where I was making progress in much of anything in my life.
The admonishment to pray when confronted with these feelings was like a light bulb turning on in a darkened room. Such a simple thing to do and yet... I hadn't even considered it an option.
Now, I know there are some who would argue this is merely synchronicity. Others would state that it was a sign that I should consider conversion to some flavor of Christianity. I contend that just as the Christian god is likely to use events with non-Christians to get a message across to Christians, so too is it likely that the goddess will send a message via unexpected sources to her people.
Is it a sign? Yes, I think so, but not that I should cast aside my religion. But rather, a sign that my goddess is keeping me in her thoughts and wants me to turn to her no matter how small and insignificant I feel that I am.
1/29/12
Kennings for Loki
Waxing Hunger Moon (Age: 6 days)
Sign: Aries
Weather: cloudy, heavy snowfall
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As someone who has something of a relationship with this particular deity, I do what I can to find kennings referring to him. Someone else has compiled a good list. I am sure that we can easily add to it. I would humbly add the following to this list:Sign: Aries
Weather: cloudy, heavy snowfall
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Our lord of weirdness
Quicksilver tongued one
Deceiver of Fools
Having experienced him acting in such a fashion, it is my opinion that these kennings are fairly accurate. I also think that as time passes, I am probably going to wind up adding to this list. Laufey's Son seems to like when I try to creatively avoid mention his name directly. My efforts tend to get a bit of laughter out of him.
I don't think that's an entirely bad thing. After all, if the GODS can't laugh at something, then you know you're fucked.
1/27/12
Mark of the Goddess?
Waxing Hunger Moon (Age: 4 days)
Sign: Aries
Weather: Unseasonably warm, cloudy
with intermittent rain
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As I was driving home from dropping my children off with their aunt for the weekend, I had a vision of the Goddess. I also heard her say something very clearly to me. What she said to me was:Sign: Aries
Weather: Unseasonably warm, cloudy
with intermittent rain
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You veil and cover yourself to mark you as my daughter among the daughters of men.
My grace is upon my children, though man does not understand it. Some may say grace is upon you from their God. You know the source where it flows. What they say does not matter, only that you continue your work.
The vision, which was very brief, showed me the Mother. She wore a white gown, it looked to be made from linen. Over this, about her shoulders, she wore a mantle of blue. Her hair was hidden by a veil of pale blue, like the color of the sky at the horizon when the sun is at its zenith, shot through with silver. Over this there was another veil, this one white, that obscured her facial features, making them indistinct.
She held her hands out before her, as though she was pouring something from them. And from her hands poured light. It started out the color of honey and grew brighter as it came down. It fell upon the Moon and then upon the Earth. And as it poured over the Earth, it was white.
I was attempting to make sense of what this vision meant when she spoke to me again. (This being several hours after the vision and not too terribly long before I sat down here at the computer.) She said:
I pour out my blessings over the Earth for all children. I am a generous Mother and I give to any in need.
You are marked in your spirit as other are marked in flesh. Because your body can not take the needle and ink, your manner of dress conveys your status. Wear the veil to hide and protect yourself. Wear the bells to that the daughters of men may know you as you walk among them.
The timing of this is fortuitous and a wee bit unnerving. I had been lamenting (privately and inwardly) the lack of communication between the Mother and I. I had been flailing a bit and feeling unsure about myself as a priestess because I felt the absence of the early ecstascy that I experienced when I was new to the Craft and more open to everything. It wasn't something that I brought up in my prayers because, honestly, I felt that it was an issue on my end that I had to resolve. If that makes any sense to anyone reading this.
So, when she decided that she was going to say hello and put some of my concerns at ease, it startled me. It was like having someone turn the light on unexpectedly in a dark room. And suddenly realizing that you weren't alone in the room like you had thought you were.
Veils, shrouds, & shawls
Waxing Hunger Moon (Age: 4 days)
Sign: Void of Course
Weather: unseasonably warm & cloudy
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For years now, I have felt drawn to veiling myself as part of my spiritual expression. Just last night, as I was idly searching techniques for tying a headscarf, I stumbled on to another pagan who has a similar inclination and her blog post regarding it. It was incredibly reassuring to see that I wasn't too far out into the fringes with this recurrent urge. It was also just the little nudge I needed to begin acting in accord with it.Sign: Void of Course
Weather: unseasonably warm & cloudy
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My thought was "Hey, I'm not the only one to feel this way! Awesome!" It was as though a weight just lifted right off me as I gave myself permission to do this. Growing up in a household that was extremely focused on propriety and meeting social norms for appearances sake, I was strongly encouraged not to act upon urges that took me to places aside from what was the most mundane. Even now, I have times where I struggle with my genuine sense of style versus what was foisted upon me.
Now, one may wonder why I'm talking about the clash between personal tastes of clothing styles and what is socially accepted as 'normal'. This is something that comes up when one adapts their manner of dress to something that is not completely run of the mill. When people mark themselves as different from the others around them, there are a few different possible reactions. Confusion, discomfort, and outright scorn have met me when I have moved away from the norm in the past.
This becomes even more complicated of a matter when one begins to consider religious expression. When dealing with a religion as decentralized as Wicca, one finds that there is no 'norm' for how to do anything. As a result, we tend to 'default' to the predominant cultural norms for dress and social behavior that we engage in the secular environment. Special dress for religious purpose becomes cumbersome when one is torn between maintaining a 'normal' appearance to ease their interactions with society at large and the urgings of their spirit. This is especially the case when one's faith does not have an 'official' dress code like in Islam.
Now, that I've rambled on in that direction, let's get to where I wanted to go in the beginning. That is, in short, how the three items I listed in the title of this post are important. Veils have been used for countless millennia for, among other reasons, to protect the sacred and set it apart from the mundane. The shroud has been used as a similar covering (aside from being a garment for the dead).
Shawls can be used in the same fashion. I do that often. When I feel a pull to wrap myself in a shawl, there's a lot of different reasons. Most frequently, it's practicality. I get cold easily. But, there are times where it serves to 'contain' spiritual energy. Or it serves to protect (at times from a purely psychological point).
I had more I wanted to say but it's drifted off into the aether. Right now, my youngest child is terrorizing the house. So deep thoughts are going to have to wait for later.
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